Prime Cuts

Slices of great NFL content from around the web

NFL finalizes draft order (well, sort of)

NFL announces 2012 draft order
eye-on-football.blogs.cbssports.com

Here is the order in which teams will select from April 26-28.

Since the Panthers and Dolphins had the same winning percentage and strength of schedule marks, there will be a coin flip at the NFL Combine to determine the order in which they pick. Same goes for the Chiefs and Seahawks.

As we already knew, the Broncos will be picking 25th overall come April. The Raiders' next choice will be in the sixth round of the 2016 Draft.*

* Actually, Oakland has picks in the fifth and sixth rounds of the 2012 Draft, plus third-, fourth-, sixth-, and seventh-rounders in 2013. Good luck with that, Dennis Allen!

Knowshon Moreno can’t drive 45

Broncos' Knowshon Moreno arrested on suspected DUI
www.9news.com

Moreno was stopped on Feb. 1 on Interstate 25 near the Hampden Avenue exit. Investigators say he was going 70 mph in a 45 mph construction zone.

He was driving a Bentley convertible with the license plate: SAUCED.

He was given blood test and arrested.

The personalized license plate is no joke, although, right now, the joke is on the Broncos.

Weatherman: The Legend of Bill Williamson

Super Bowl in Denver? A snowball's chance
espn.go.com

I have no doubt Denver would be a terrific Super Bowl host, and it would please the league, teams, fans and the media.

Don’t expect it to happen. Why?

Check the recent Denver weather. The city was rocked by more than two feet of snow on Thursday and Friday. It was one of the worst snowstorms the city has seen in recent years.

Of course, Denver has one of the most unpredictable weather patterns in the United States. There have been plenty of Super Bowl weeks in which the weather in Denver was much better than in the host city. But the NFL will look at the storm of 2012 and use that as evidence that a Super Bowl in Denver will not fly.

So, keep dreaming, Denver, and keep expecting to watch the Super Bowl played in other cities. The Broncos shouldn’t feel too bad. None of their AFC West foes are close to hosting the game.

Not sure I agree with The Chop's logic here.  I like conspiracy theories, but eventually, Denver will host a Super Bowl.  

Gisele does her best Tebow zealot

Gisele Consoles Brady, Rips Bleepin’ Patriots Receivers After Loss
newyork.cbslocal.com

“Eli rules!” exclaimed a fan after the game as Bundchen left her luxury suite at Lucas Oil Stadium. “Eli owns your husband!”

“You (have) to catch the ball when you’re supposed to catch the ball,” Gisele snapped. “My husband cannot (bleeping) throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

No word yet if Gisele knows of this person we call Mike McCoy.

This sure beats Alec Baldwin

Superior snow sculpture honors Tebow
westminster.kdvr.com

On a quiet street in a town near the foothills a snow version of the Broncos QB was ‘Tebowing’ in a front yard. “I personally moved about ten tons of snow for this sculpture of Tebow, Tebowing,” said Tracy Fox. “We just give all glory to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

Neighbors took images of ‘Tebowed’ with snow Tim and in short just made the tiny circle a bit of a place to worship Sunday morning.

Next time the little woman asks you to clean the garage, tell her you've got this in mind.

Six named to Pro Football HOF

Former Jets, Pats RB Martin headlines Hall's Class of 2012
www.nfl.com

Running back Curtis Martin and four linemen were elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame on Saturday, along with one senior committee choice.

Martin is the fourth-leading rusher in NFL history. He is joined by Chris Doleman, Cortez Kennedy, Willie Roaf, Dermontti Dawson, and senior selection Jack Butler.

Jerome Bettis, Cris Carter and Bill Parcells were among the finalists who didn’t make it.

You thought you’d never see Tebow naked and throwing a ball in a field of horses, but you were wrong

Tim Tebow is wearing jeans in his new print ad for Jockey
sports.yahoo.com

Despite all the hype Tebow is bringing Jockey this week, the front of the company’s website features two unknown models (one of whom looks like a less-sour version of the lady from “Gray’s Anatomy”) engaged in some light sparring. If I’m paying Tebow the big bucks, I’m putting him on every page of that site and letting him model everything, whether it be tightie-whities, boxers, briefs, socks, ladies activewear or sports bras.

I've got nothing...

Broncos replace capologist

Broncos' John Elway hires new cap guru Mike Sullivan
www.denverpost.com

The Broncos did not renew the contract of Mike Bluem, their longtime capologist, and replaced him with Mike Sullivan, who oversaw Octagon Sports agency football division, and has been negotiating player contracts for the past 25 years.

Bluem had been with the Broncos for 17 seasons working closely with general managers Ted Sundquist, Jim Goodman and Brian Xanders.

Sullivan created the option bonus — which is really a second signing bonus — and one-time playing time bonus in player contracts. They are now common part of the more lucrative NFL contracts, including almost every first-round draft pick.

One has to wonder what Elway thinks of Brian Xanders, as Elway continues to change the front office personnel structure surrounding the X Man.

Nate Jackson details his nationally televised near-decapitation

What It’s Like When An NFL Linebacker Nearly Knocks Your Head Off
deadspin.com

Being knocked out in a football game is not a painful event at impact. It is a dimensional vacuum through an extremely narrow wormhole. It is a piano falling on your head in the middle of your recital. It’s a system reboot. My adrenaline was always too high to feel the pain of a hit, anyway. When I came to, I didn’t know where I was. You’re lying on the grass, Nate. The crowd is roaring. But what are they roaring about? Oh, yes, it’s for you. You got knocked out. Yay! His brain is bleeding!

Even in my cranial reboot phase, I knew that at that moment, they’d be replaying the hit in slow motion. I also knew that my mother was watching back in California. And I knew that Greek was holding my head and neck. So I started moving around my legs and arms to let my family know I wasn’t paralyzed.

And hard booze found its way into the lemonade in my Dixie cup. I approached our team doctor as the flight closed in on Denver and asked him if he could give me something for the pain. He said the best he could do was one Vicodin and one muscle relaxer. “Really, Doc? That’s it? You’re gonna make me hit the streets for this one?”

NFL to destroy Must See TV

Goodell: NFL Network to air games in Weeks 2-15 next season
www.nfl.com

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced Friday that NFL Network will air 13 games during the 2012 season.

Goodell said NFL Network will expand its current eight-game “Thursday Night Football” package starting in Week 2 and running through Week 15.

Man, it sure will be interesting in a few years when the NFL goes to a 24-game schedule with three-day turnarounds and 48 teams across four continents, right? As Bart Scott would say, CAN'T WAIT.*

* Kidding.