Prime Cuts

Slices of great NFL content from around the web

Rob “The Situation” Gronkowski

“Rob Gronkowski Dancing” Gets The Jersey Shore Mashup It So Richly Deserves
www.sportsgrid.com

He’s young, he looks like a pretty hardcore alpha male bro, he enjoys the club scene and exposing his ripped physique – minus an Italian-sounding name, Rob Gronkowski has just about everything you could want in a Jersey Shore cast member. And now, thanks to that footage of his post-Super-Bowl dance night, we now know what it might look like if he joined the show’s cast.

Peyton Manning can play, but can he throw?

Kravitz: Manning not “throwing like an NFL quarterback yet”
profootballtalk.nbcsports.com

“I know some of the people that have seen him throw,” Indianapolis Star columnist Bob Kravitz said Tuesday on the Tony Kornheiser Show on 980 ESPN. “They say he’s not throwing like an NFL quarterback yet. That doesn’t mean he never will.  This thing is going to take time. Structurally, he’s sound. Structurally, he can take a hit.”

Kenny Powers gives his take on Tebow

The Gifted Young: Athlete An open letter from Kenny Powers to Tim Tebow
www.grantland.com

But the Gifted Young Athlete refuses to let the doubters $*&t in his Wheaties. To hell with science. The Gifted Young Athlete knows that he has something stronger. He has God on his side. So he presses on and keeps a good attitude, and every time he beats the odds in life he proves the experts wrong. Next thing you know, there are folks calling it a miracle. Maybe the Gifted Young Athlete is blessed by the Almighty, they say. Perhaps he really does have a f@#!ing angel on his shoulder.

And suddenly the experts don’t look like experts anymore. By now, our hero has upset a whole lot of people. There are those who simply don’t like the idea of a man being favored by God. They feel his special relationship with Jesus diminishes their own somehow. If Jesus loves the Gifted Young Athlete, what does he think of the rest of us? Bunch of a%$holes?

So the haters multiply, and soon the resentment reaches a boiling point. And that’s when the torches and pitchforks and long knives come out. Yes, the world is given a savior but they choose to crucify him instead. Who’d a thunk it? The same old f#$@in’ story.

Maybe that’s why Jesus likes us so much to begin with. He sees a little of himself in there.

Want an image makeover?  Stomp a dude in the groin on national television.

America's Most Disliked Athletes
www.forbes.com

And for the ultimate 180 degree turnaround, look no further than Detroit Lions defensive lineman Ndamukong Suh. Just four months ago, Suh led Nielsen-EPoll’s survey of most liked players in the NFL. But his reputation took a sudden hit after a highly publicized stomping of a Green Bay Packer offensive guard during a nationally televised game on Thanksgiving Day. Suh got hit with a two-game suspension and bruised image.

“He went from being so popular to being a pariah in one season,” says Master. The good news for Suh is that he’s a young player who can shake off a mistake if he keeps it clean from now on.

Something tells me the last thing Ndamukong Suh thinks about in the morning is shaking off his image problem.  Detroit loves this guy.  He could murder Christian Ponder next season (and probably will) and it would not matter.

Chad Johnson changing name to Chad Johnson

OCHOCINCO … NO MORE!
withleather.uproxx.com

In the worst nickname-on-the-back-of-football-jerseys news since He Hate Me revealed that He Actually Fairly Indifferent Toward Me, New England Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, the man who wanted his nick on his back so badly he pulled an Ultimate Warrior and legally changed his name, will become Chad Johnson again soon.

Wonder if he'll have to pay the jersey companies anything. Then again, do they even bother making his jerseys anymore?

Freeman: Expect Manning, Irsay to meet soon, and for QB to land in Washington

Ten-Point Stance: Peyton as a free agent still won't top Reggie circus
www.cbssports.com

Look for Peyton Manning and Jim Irsay to meet within the next 48 hours—if they already haven’t done so secretly. Manning, I’m told, wanted some time to pass before meeting with Irsay so his brother could celebrate his championship in peace. Manning knows the minute he and Irsay meet, it’ll become public (mainly because Manning or his agent will leak their side of it).

Speaking of Peyton, everyone I speak to in the NFL—and I mean just about everyone—believes if Manning becomes a free agent, the Washington Redskins will sign him.

Because 27 days without a Tebow special would be too much for America to handle

Tebow-verkill: This Has Got To Stop, ESPN
dailydickpunch.com

But this Tim Tebow obsession you seem to have is starting to take on a life of its own, and I think it’s high time you re-evaluated whether you’re going to stay “ESPN, The Worldwide Leader in Sports,” or if you’re going to change to “TSPN, The Tebow-wide Tebow in Tebow.”

I was informed that tonight, at 10:30 Eastern, a SportsCenter Special will air titled “Tim Tebow: Face To Face.” That’s right, folks. Tim Tebow hasn’t been relevant to the NFL for about a month now, but we’re getting a SportsCenter Special to watch him talk to a geriatric in a short skirt.

It’s low-hanging fruit, and I get that. But your constant haranguing of the Tim Tebow story needs to take a few steps back and take a breath.

Sam's not joking. This really is happening, and it's called SPORTSCENTER SPECIAL: FACE TO FACE WITH TIM TEBOW. The first two TebowCenter specials took place on December 2 and January 12 (an unbearable 36-day wait between episodes), so at least the Worldwide Leader is stepping up their coverage of Tim just when the country needs it most.

Bears reunite BFFs Jay Cutler and Jeremy Bates

New Bears QB coach has ties to Cutler
www.chicagotribune.com

Jay Cutler has had a strained relationship with offensive coaches for the Chicago Bears, but Tuesday’s hiring of Jeremy Bates as the team’s quarterbacks coach gives him someone he’s worked closely with in the past.

Bates worked with Cutler in Denver and he will serve under new offensive coordinator Mike Tice. Bates was out of the NFL durng the 2011 season after working as the offensive coordinator under Pete Carroll for the Seattle Seahawks for one season.

It was only a matter of time before this bromance lost its status as a long distance relationship. IAOFM has procured a transcript of the text messages exchanged between JB and Cutty:

Cutler:WU JB?

Bates: NMU?

Cutler: PRW LOL

Bates: TTYL?

Cutler: K  LMIRL?

Bates: CHI?

Cutler: K QB COACH?

Bates: LOL K

Cuter: OMG 4 REAL?

Bates: TDTM.....

(Dictionary: WU=What Up; NMU=Not much, you; PRW=Parents Watching; LMIRL=Lets meet in real life; TDTM=Talk dirty to me)

NFL finalizes draft order (well, sort of)

NFL announces 2012 draft order
eye-on-football.blogs.cbssports.com

Here is the order in which teams will select from April 26-28.

Since the Panthers and Dolphins had the same winning percentage and strength of schedule marks, there will be a coin flip at the NFL Combine to determine the order in which they pick. Same goes for the Chiefs and Seahawks.

As we already knew, the Broncos will be picking 25th overall come April. The Raiders' next choice will be in the sixth round of the 2016 Draft.*

* Actually, Oakland has picks in the fifth and sixth rounds of the 2012 Draft, plus third-, fourth-, sixth-, and seventh-rounders in 2013. Good luck with that, Dennis Allen!

Knowshon Moreno can’t drive 45

Broncos' Knowshon Moreno arrested on suspected DUI
www.9news.com

Moreno was stopped on Feb. 1 on Interstate 25 near the Hampden Avenue exit. Investigators say he was going 70 mph in a 45 mph construction zone.

He was driving a Bentley convertible with the license plate: SAUCED.

He was given blood test and arrested.

The personalized license plate is no joke, although, right now, the joke is on the Broncos.