Prime Cuts

Slices of great NFL content from around the web

Broncos coaches: Tebow may not make for an NFL tight end, either

ESPN snafu allows audience to see Hannah Storm and Mark Schlereth doubt Tim Tebow’s future
sports.yahoo.com

Schlereth: But I’m going to tell you. I talked to a bunch of Broncos coaches who said ‘I just don’t know if he’s a fluid enough athlete to go over and play tight end ... they say he doesn’t catch the ball naturally either

Oh, those dastardly anonymous sources. Clearly it was Mike McCoy, who would have been nothing without the Ultimate Teammate™. He should be thanking Timmy. Ingrate.

Lewis alleged to have used banned substance in recovery from arm injury

The zany story of two self ordained sports science entrepreneurs
sportsillustrated.cnn.com

Ross prescribed a deluxe program, including holographic stickers on the right elbow; copious quantities of the powder additive; sleeping in front of a beam-ray light programmed with frequencies for tissue regeneration and pain relief; drinking negatively charged water; a 10-per-day regimen of the deer-antler pills that will “rebuild your brain via your small intestines” (and which Lewis said he hadn’t been taking, then swallowed four during the conversation); and spritzes of deer-antler velvet extract (the Ultimate Spray) every two hours.

“Spray on my elbow every two hours?” Lewis asked.

“No,” Ross said, “under your tongue.”

Toward the end of the talk, Lewis asked Ross to “just pile me up and just send me everything you got, because I got to get back on this this week.”

As pointed out by Mike Florio, it's a little late for Lewis to face any repercussions from the league, if they even bother to investigate.

If you're unfamiliar with deer antler fuzz, be sure to check out Doc's in-depth article on it from almost exactly two years ago.

The X-Man Cometh—to Detroit

Lions hire ex-Broncos GM Brian Xanders as senior personnel executive
www.freep.com

The Lions hired former Broncos general manager Brian Xanders as a senior personnel executive. Xanders will assist with pro and college scouting, while Mayhew retains final say over the roster.

“As I indicated following the season, we are re-evaluating all aspects of our football operation,” Mayhew said in a statement. “Brian’s addition, given his diverse background, positively impacts all aspects of our team’s football operations. He brings experience as a general manager and has worked in both pro and college scouting. In addition to his personnel background, he has experience in contract negotiations and expertise in the development and use of technological resources in player personnel. Brian will effectively improve on the structure we have in place and will add another set of eyes to the evaluation process.”

The guy that might have drafted Clay Matthews over Robert Ayers just found a new home in Detroit. Any job is better than no job at all, right?  If you don't believe us, just ask Ted Sundquist, who has gone so long without work, he finally gave himself a title: "The Football Educator."

General Manager still sounds better.  Perhaps someday.

This does give us a chance to bring out everyone's beloved toy, The Brian Xanders Random Quote Generator.  This is our personal favorite:

We are going to have our college scouts start cross-checking the players in February, instead of later in the process in January.

Tear it up in Detroit, X-Man.

Let the soy sauce hit the floor

Former 49er charged with attacking ex-boyfriend
www.smdailyjournal.com

Former San Francisco 49ers and Oakland Raiders offensive tackle Kwame Harris will appear in San Mateo County Superior Court today on charges he assaulted his former boyfriend at a Menlo Park restaurant during an argument over soy sauce and underwear.

...Harris and his alleged victim had been in a romantic relationship but were no longer involved when they met at Su Hong restaurant in Menlo Park, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Karen Guidotti.  Harris’ attorney Alin Cintean confirms the pair were previously involved but were just friends at that point.  Harris was to drive Geier to San Francisco International Airport but instead became upset when he poured soy sauce on a plate of rice, according to the suit filed in San Mateo County Superior Court.

The men argued for approximately seven minutes and Harris said he would no longer take Geier to the airport, the suit states. As the men left to remove Geier’s belongings from Harris’ car so that he could instead take a cab, Harris tried pulling the other man’s pants down and accused him of stealing his underwear, according to the suit. Geier unsuccessfully tried pushing Harris away but the bigger man shook him violently and punched him in the arms, the suit states.

Police reports list Harris as 6 feet 7 inches and 240 pounds while Geier is 6 feet 1 inch and 220, Guidotti said. Geier allegedly hit Harris three times in the face but Harris “seemed only to grow more agitated” and punched him in the face several times until he fell, the suit states. Harris allegedly threw Geier’s property from the car and left while Geier hailed a cab and was taken to an emergency room in San Jose.  Geier had surgery to repair broken orbital bones and required a metal plate to repair the damage. Harris was arrested at his home.

Whether gay or straight, it's never a good idea to mix soy sauce and underwear, my friends.  It's bound to lead to some of the "ultra violence."  

This applies doubly when the offended party is 6 feet 7 inches and probably weighs three bills.

(via PFT)

Knapp meeting new colleagues, star pupil in Honolulu

Manning to say 'Aloha' to new coach
espn.go.com

As a result, Knapp has joined his new team in Hawaii and he is expected to work with the rest of the Denver coaching staff at the Pro Bowl this week
...
The Broncos wanted Knapp to take advantage of the time to spend with his new colleagues and get to know everyone in a relaxed setting. Knapp will also get a chance to coach his prized pupil. Peyton Manning is the starting AFC quarterback at the Pro Bowl.

Ugh, leave it to Williamson to work Aloha and pineapple slices into a 161-word piece on Denver's new QB coach. Bill is the worstest.

Elway: Hard for us to comprehend how big of a schmuck Te’o is

John Elway on Manti Te'o: 'Why wouldn't he know?'
www.usatoday.com

“It’s a little bit mind-boggling to think what did happen, what he did know,” Broncos executive vice president John Elway said. “He’s going to get asked about it probably 32 times at the Combine. Everyone is going to ask him about it. It’s hard for us to understand—why he wouldn’t know?”

Granted, it's lying season (as if there's any time of year when football execs actually tell the truth). But it's really difficult, even if Te'o were to fall to them at #28, to picture the Broncos drafting the kid.

What, he (best case) falls for some fake Facebook/Twitter advances and doesn't figure it out for years, and he's supposed to quarterback Denver's defense against the likes of Tom Brady, Eli Manning, RG3, and Andrew Luck next year?

Worst case, of course, is that he was in on it and is a delusional, pathological liar...

Researchers diagnose CTE in living ex-NFLers

CTE found in living ex-NFL players
espn.go.com

Brain scans performed on five former NFL players revealed images of the protein that causes football-related brain damage—the first time researchers have identified signs of the crippling disease in living players.

Researchers who conducted the pilot study at UCLA described the findings as a significant step toward being able to diagnose the disease known as Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, or CTE, in living patients.

With such a small study, plenty more work will need to be done to ascertain whether CTE can be diagnosed reliably.

But it's an encouraging step, and that the NFL's concussion committee is chaired by a neurosurgeon instead of a freaking rheumatologist is pretty great, too. Gee, I wonder why that change occurred?

Ginger Hammer unbans Sean Payton

NFL reinstates Saints' Sean Payton
espn.go.com

The NFL reinstated New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton on Tuesday from his season-long suspension as a result of the league’s investigation into the team’s bounty program.

The league said the decision to reinstate Payton was made after a meeting between the coach and commissioner Roger Goodell on Monday in New Orleans.

Can't help but wonder when this would have happened if the Super Bowl weren't taking place in New Orleans...

Meanwhile, Gregg Williams is free to search out a new job, and the Rog will apparently review his possible reinstatement if and when Williams finds one.

McGahee: concussions aren’t really injuries

Theater of Pain
www.esquire.com

I called McGahee recently. He now plays for the Denver Broncos and was recovering from a torn medial collateral ligament. With the playoffs approaching, and with NFL injuries becoming ever more of “an issue” — the global warming of American sports fans, something to be fretted over and put aside — I wanted to talk to someone whose career has been defined by very public injuries and whose very public injuries have defined the state of football over the last ten years. But he didn’t see it that way. “Injury has not been part of my career,” he said. “I’ve only gotten hurt twice. I got hurt once in college and once in the pros.”

Right, but that second injury, against the Steelers…

“No. I mean now. The MCL.”

“So you don’t consider the concussion an injury?”

“That’s what they consider it. But getting a concussion and hurting your knee are two different things. You get back up from a concussion.” Willis McGahee was knocked out cold against the Steelers. He went out on the board. He didn’t consider himself injured, though, because like all NFL players he considers himself an expert in what qualifies as an injury and what doesn’t. The loss of consciousness he suffered in Pittsburgh didn’t qualify because it didn’t require rehabilitation. It didn’t put his career in jeopardy. It didn’t exile him from his teammates.

And most of all, it didn’t hurt.

There might have been a time when this Esquire article would have shocked the American public.  After all, players keeping pain journals (before they become human veggies), taking Toradol like it's a daily multi-vitamin, and distrusting team doctors so much they bring in their own are all disturbing revelations.

But apparently they're not disturbing enough.  The NFL is as popular as ever, the current generation of players knows the risks, and the ranks of college players continues to swell.

It's sad to say, but it's probably going to take an actual death in front of a live television audience on a big stage to shock anyone at this point.

Carry on,  Mr. Goodell.

Manning: look, Pa, I got me a duck and a deer

Peyton Manning hunts following Denver Broncos' loss
www.nfl.com

Life could be worse for Peyton Manning. Yes, his Denver Broncos were upset by the Baltimore Ravens in last week’s divisional playoffs. Still, things are just fine for Manning. His neck works. He hasn’t been Catfish’d. He’s nowhere near the crime blotter.

Instead, he’s traveling the country with old friend, Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton, shooting rifles in the woods. We imagine this brings him great peace. “He told me he killed, in one day, a duck in Colorado and a deer in Mississippi,” Archie Manning told The Associated Press on Saturday.

While we're still bitching about the loss last week, Peyton Manning is going Ted Nugent.  

No word yet on the rumor that Rahim Moore is fly fishing in Montana.