Prime Cuts

Slices of great NFL content from around the web

Magary: It’s almost moving time in the NFL

The Great NFL Migration Is About To Begin
deadspin.com

Brian Billick was the analyst for last week’s Broncos/Vikings game, and I’d like to give him a firm bear hug for not gushing over Tebow the entire game (a game in which Tebow played very well). He was complimentary of Tebow only on good plays, and he didn’t bring every discussion point back to the Jesus Baron. And it’s a mark of how $@#%^% most announcing crews that are that this represented a SPECTACULAR IMPROVEMENT over how Tebow is usually covered. Holy $@#%, if Gruden and Jaws had done that game, it would have been guffaws and backslaps for four straight hours. It would have been unbearable. I know people hate Billick from his coaching days, and he can get a little chatty on the air, but I’d take him over Dierdorf any time.

Why is it surprising the MNF guys have to feign excitement?

Everything That’s Wrong With Monday Night Football, In One New Yorker Paragraph
deadspin.com

Later that day, as Jaworski was making a cup of coffee in the ESPN bus, he tried the line again. “Call me crazy, but I’m excited about Tyler Palko,” he said. He exhaled. “I’ve got to sell this,” he said to himself.

Look, they're going to have to spend about 32 hours this weekend talking about the looming showdown between Tom Brandstater and Tarvaris Jackson on MNF. How else could one do so without acting (and thus, a whole lot of rehearsal)?

Lipreader confirms: Tebow does not swear during games

RICK REILLY TWEETS THAT HE HIRED LIPREADER TO SEE IF TIM TEBOW SWORE DURING GAME
www.sportressofblogitude.com

He cannot be serious, can he? Because if he is, pardon my French, but Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Talk about #Real…stupid. But really, this has got to be some kind of joke, right? Right?

Maybe next Reilly will hire Ryan McBean to...oh never mind.

Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow

Every "Tebow" Uttered On ESPN’s "TebowCenter" Today
deadspin.com

In what was either a rare act of self-awareness or a complete lack thereof on behalf of the Worldwide Leader, ESPN dedicated an entire hour of SportsCenter today to Tim Tebow, managing to mention the Denver quarterback’s name no fewer than 88 times in the process—all of which were painstakingly edited together for your pleasure above.

Fan wants closer to Tebow, tattoos him on thigh as headless centaur

Fan’s ‘Tebow Time’ Tattoo Has Tim Tebow as Bronco-Centaur (Picture)
larrybrownsports.com

An artist named Gabe, who did the tattoo, said the man in question showed up with the drawing and said he wanted to get the tattoo done. Normally the shop does all the designs themselves, but this guy really wanted his personally-designed Tebow Time tattoo, so they allowed it. Gabe says they asked the man if he had lost a bet, but he wouldn’t tell them. Apparently he left the shop pleased and loved the tattoo.

Hey, whatever floats your boat. I just have two questions: Why does Tebow have no face or head within his helmet, and What's with the flowery handwriting?

Theismann: Tebow is the “bottom rung” of QB play

Joe Theismann on Tim Tebow’s Success: Enjoy the Circus While it’s in Town
larrybrownsports.com

“I think what we all ought to do is enjoy the circus while it’s in town…What makes 2011 so unique is we have seen quarterback play in this league at such a high extreme and in Tim’s case, the bottom rung when it comes to completions…That defense is as good as any in football right now. The offense doesn’t turn the ball over. There’s been one interception in seven games. I say this tongue-in-cheek: The way Tim throws the ball sometimes, nobody has a shot at getting it, his guy, the defenders. It’s either bounce it in the ground or throw it in the third row.”

Does Theismann know he already missed the weekly meeting of the Hoge/Dilfer/Esiason/Young-chaired Tim Tebow Sucks Club? Maybe he's just trying to start the backlash to the "I give up, he just wins" backlash?

Or, maybe Von Miller reminds Joe too much of Lawrence Taylor, and his blood pressure is rising...

Reilly: Blah, blah, interesting nugget, blah, blah

Fox has Broncos in the hunt
espn.go.com

Fox got permission to take his team in to most road games two days early, where players bond and howl and dream together, with no distractions. “Cost us a fortune, but John thought it was important,” says one Broncos insider. “You get to know a teammate better, you play harder for him.”

Fox picks one player to address the team before each game, a way of getting player buy-in. This is where Tebow made his famous “As iron sharpens iron, men sharpen men” pregame speech. (After which, Denver went out and fell behind 10-0).

Fox is real, blue collar and funny.

“The other day, before the Minnesota game, we were in the tunnel, about to come out,” says Broncos punter Britton Colquitt. “And somebody farted. It was bad. And Coach Fox goes, ‘Man, I guess somebody’s nervous!’ It just broke us all up, got us loose. That’s what he’s like. … I just met him this year and I feel like I’ve known him 20 years.”

Rick Reilly's stuff sucks with the combined power of 10 million Dysons, so don't bother to read the article, and just go with the blurb I've put above. 

The interesting takeaway is that Fox convinced the Broncos to spend significant money for team bonding purposes, which goes to refute fears that Pat Bowlen is getting cheap in his old age.  That, and the fact that the Broncos think farting is funny.

Cirque du Tebow

Set your clocks: It’s Tebow Time at 2:00 p.m. (ET) on SportsCenter
frontrow.espn.go.com

FR: When was the last time SportsCenter devoted an entire hour to one person?
MS: Whenever we have major breaking news or events a good portion of SportsCenter will be devoted to that particular topic. This past July, the day after the baseball All-Star game (traditionally a slow sports news day), we devoted a good portion of a block of SportsCenter to examining the growing role of Twitter in sports and journalism. Today will be unique in devoting a large portion of SC to Tim Tebow without it being based on breaking news.

Michael Shiffman's (ESPN producer) answer to this question tells you everything you need to know about what the Denver Broncos are about to become.

Lombardi: The spread is here to stay

Newton, Tebow prove spread option will work in the NFL
www.nfl.com

But in reality, few run the spread with the quarterback being a major ball carrier like they do in Denver, Carolina and to some extent Philadelphia. That added dimension is something I could see becoming a new trend in the league…I hate hearing the rhetoric that defenses will catch up to Newton or Tebow. They won’t, because their speed makes the plays effective…The Broncos tried running a conventional offense with Kyle Orton and it failed…The spread is here to stay. GMs and coaches must embrace it. In fact, both Denver and Carolina need to acquire backup quarterbacks who can play a similar style to Newton and Tebow so they don’t have to change their offense should either QB miss a play or a game.

Of course, some guy named Ted Bartlett has been saying this for years...

Archie Manning goes lawnmower parent again

Archie Manning doubts Luck, Peyton want to be teammates
content.usatoday.com

Archie Manning was asked on FOXSports radio Tuesday if Indianapolis should draft Stanford QB Andrew Luck with the top pick next spring.

“I don’t think it’d necessarily be great for either one,” he said regarding Peyton and Luck. “I think Andrew’s the type of mature player ... he can walk right in (and play).”...“Peyton’s always tried to help Andrew and kind of be a friend. (But) I doubt if either one of them want to play on the same team.”

Okay, so let's see if I've got this right:

  1. Archie Manning is Peyton's father.
  2. Archie talks to Oliver Luck frequently.
  3. Archie suddenly appears on a radio show to tell everyone he doubts Manning and Luck want to play together.

You get the hint, Bill Polian?  Or does Archie Manning have to "smooth" things over for you a little more?

UPDATE: Archie went on the Dan Patrick show a few hours ago and tried to backpedal, saying he wasn't a GM, but a "daddy."  That's the point, Lawnmower Man.