Vick to LOLJets would be more of the same Lard

Good Morning, Broncos fans! It's been an especially rough few days for the LOLJets and their QB impersonators; it's only getting worse for their fans. 

Monday night saw Buttfumble commit five more turnovers, including a game-ending bobble that put to rest the team's slim playoff hopes. That brought his two-year giveaway total to an even fifty, the most in the league.

The next day, it was announced that the team's third-string quarterback would take over for the starter, leapfrogging the purported backup. BTW, does that sound familiar?

For his part, the most epic of NFL fizzles says that all he ever wanted was a chance; apparently, the opportunity to prove oneself in practice doesn't count. Adding insult to insult, the UT™ is reportedly single once more.

Yesterday brought news that the team is trying to find its way out from under the burdensome contracts and inabilities of both Sanchez and Tebow, and if Sexy Rexy and Mike Tannenbaum are somehow able to avoid the chopping block themselves, Michael Vick would be an apparently mutually interested target.

Incredibly, a LOLJets source (Rexy himself?) holds up the crappiness of the Eagles offensive line as a reason Vick would make sense in New Jersey, which speaks to the detachment from reality that has doomed a franchise that made the AFC title game in both 2009 and 2010.

If there's any one factor that has undone Gangrene these past two seasons, it's their pitiful offensive line. To wit, the LOLJets have allowed 35 sacks this season, which is tied for tenth-most in the league, and only seven behind Philly; their running game is 22nd in yards per attempt, while the Eagles are eighth. In 2011, the comparison is even worse, as Philly allowed far fewer sacks (32 to 40) and fared 34% better on the ground (5.1 YPA vs. 3.8 for Jersey).

So if Vick wouldn't be playing behind a better line, would he at least be less mistake-prone than Sanchez? There's little reason to think that's the case.

Since 2011, among the 27 quarterbacks to have attempted 500 or more passes, only Matt Cassel (5.32%) has either fumbled or been intercepted at a higher rate (per touch) than Sanchez (5.23%). After Sanchez is Philip Rivers (4.97%), with Vick (4.66%) sporting the fourth-worst rate.

Swapping out one overpaid turnover machine for another?

One would think this is such an obviously poor idea that nobody in charge of an NFL team would go for it. Yet, these are the same chuckleheads who flailed at Peyton Manning, subsequently gave Buttfumble a "We're sorry, Honey" bouquet in the form of $20.5M in guarantees, and then traded draft picks for a player John Elway couldn't get rid of fast enough, while forgetting to read the language of said player's contract before doing so.

LOLJets, indeed. Stay tuned, folks - the circus has not yet left town, and it appears more yuks are in store.

Broncos

Videos: John Fox and Peyton Manning speak after practice, from which Chris Hall reports for BTV.

Chris Kuper is unlikely to play Sunday; as long as Manning emerges with his health, and Kuper is ready come playoff time, that's fine by us.

Denver replaced suspended practice squad C Quentin Saulsberry with G Lonnie Edwards, formerly of Texas Tech.

Peyton and John Elway apparently discuss where the sun sets at SAF@MH so as to throw glare-free passes, and how's that for an attention to detail?

While checking the tape from Week 15, Andy Benoit says Denver's front seven overpowered the Ravens offense, while the back seven provided stifling coverage.

Tracy Porter has deleted his frustration-evidencing tweets from Sunday, and he's taken down any Broncos-related images from his Twitter profile, but as Jeff Legwold rightly notes, he'd better be ready to go in the same way that Knowshon Moreno was, should any of Denver's corners suffer an injury.

Denver's tackles have contributed to an improved run defense, but their lack of a pass rush remains a concern that again should be an April focus.

Randy Gradishar thinks Von Miller is deserving of joining him as Broncos to have won DPOY, and says Von will only get better; Mark Kiszla makes a case for John Elway as Executive of the Year.

Joe Eli$$ says the team is considering building a serious indoor practice facility, as bad weather forces them to work in a smaller one intended for soccer.

Browns

Usama Young will slide over from free to strong safety to replace the injured T.J. Ward, with rookie Tashaun Gipson likely to take Young's place at free safety. LB Craig Robertson is likely to start in place of James-Michael Johnson, who along with Ward, was placed on IR on Tuesday.

Here's what Brandon Weeden, Joe Thomas, and Trent Richardson had to say yesterday.

Cleveland has fielded the youngest starting lineups in the NFL this year, and it's not even close.

News

The Colts are hoping to have HC Chuck Pagano make his remarkable return to the sideline in the regular-season finale; Brady Quinn is expected to be healthy enough to start for the Chiefs against the Colts on Sunday.

Lions DT Nick Fairley, Dolphins RB Daniel Thomas, and LOLJets WR Stephen Hill were place on IR.

Norv Turner has been publicly frank about the news that he'll soon be fired, and he says he'd prefer to be an OC next season than be a jobless head coach.

Analysis

Matt Bowen studies Colin Kaepernick's TD pass to RB Delanie Walker on Sunday night and Cowboys CB Brandon Carr's interception of Ben Roethlisberger; Bucky Brooks breaks down film of the great Adrian Peterson; Sam Monson examines the play of Bills WR Stevie Johnson, whom Monson says is held back by the limitations of QB Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Mike Freeman marvels at Kaepernick's maturity, thinks Sticks Johnson has to overhaul the LOLJets, and wonders why Aaron Rodgers hasn't gotten and attention in the MVP race.

PFF's AFC Pro Bowl team includes Peyton Manning, Demaryius Thomas, Von Miller, and Chris Harris.

Minimalist logos for each NFL team, plus KSK captionizes Week 15.

Doug is IAOFM’s resident newsman and spelling czar. Follow him on Twitter @IAOFM

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