Tweets of the Week: Stapled-on lips and leaky commercials

Time for our weekly peek into the real lives of the Denver Broncos via their their own words. As always, the tweets have not been edited in any manner and are only meant to show the lighter side of the NFL while helping everyone get to know our favorite players a little better. Enjoy!

Apparently Ryan Harris is not the guy to be lending DVDs to - just ask Ryan Clady about what happens...

Clady: Watching the Wire, wondering where all my seasons are ??? @ryanharris74

Harris: @RyanClady damn u didn't get Em in the mail? I sent it to richMan estates 78 Hollywood dr Beverly hills 90210 Shouldve been there

Clady: @ryanharris74 lol nah man, you got the wrong address. I'm in LA...@ryanharris74 just hold them at your mansion in Cherry Creek

Harris: “@RyanClady: @ryanharris74 just hold them at your mansion in Cherry Creek” maybe, but Youll have to refer me to your mansion finder. Haha

Ryan Harris obviously has never used a Mac...

Someone with consumer reports knowledge know the best PC company?

Food-related thoughts from David Bruton:

Fell sleep and woke up to the aroma of steak still in my place. Haha. Guess I'ma have food dreams. Back to sleep...I need to get up and make some breakfast...I'm craving sleep but u cant eat sleep... Any suggestions aside from cereal...@ChilaB I like strudel sausage n eggs. Appreciate it

Kindhearted stuff from D.J. Williams, although of course some folks tried to take advantage of his charity:

Kids between 10 & 17 Dm me ur addy shoe size & style. I nd to get rid of $3G of Nike money. dnt lie I'ma look up every1 1st Genos luv d kids...Please dnt be that grown man DM'n this if for the kids only...@njyhalo man u look 26!...@Mz_Kali_Love @kierramarieeee @simplylalalove @deshaun_lane stop it I said kids tweet, not adults for kids...Rule change, if you look over age I'm going to help someone younger, example if u have a beard or tattoos u dmt qualify!...Sorry to anyone that didnt get to, im sure I'll be doing this again. I hope everyone receives and loves their gifts, my pleasure...For all y'all out there having ur 9yr old ording size 12 for you it's a damn shame Smh...

BLloyd's thoughts on Mavs/Heat:

Is anyone truly happy for Dirk, Kidd, Terry and Co or are people just happy Labron's "talents" weren't good enough to win a championship?...@Matt42K I don't think they got the you know what's to stick this out and work thru the probs plus players will realize that sitch is toxic...@mytwocents74 Terry won me over. How dope was he when it counted?...@kndh19 dirk does have to work hard. He had a long tough road...@peteynatar24 Kidd dirk Terry earned and deserved it. I.e Charles Woodson...@bigrvb I think he did. He took the ball every crunch time...and.... When you feel sorry for him watch "the decision"

D.J. shares some commentary on the folks on his flight to Vegas:

Ima try and get a picture of my this lady on the plane I swear if we hit an air pocket her lips will fall off they looked stapled on!...Dammit picture does no justice it came out blurry.. I'm not finished yet ...The lady n front of my has a blue mullet 

Is Ryan Clady joining the Fat Man Golf Tour?

I'm about to get golf lessons, got to improve

Julius Thomas too?

Up early off to the driving range with Mic dirt. I will learn this sport...So I had another productive day out on the course. Getting better, even had a little lesson.

Braxton Kelley isn't loving Whoopi Goldberg's commercials of late...

Whoopie goldberg got the wrost commercial ever! Eww "some women leak" coulda got some other woman to say that not her

US Open thoughts from the boys:

Eddie Royal: Anybody watching this golf? cant believe a 22 yr old gonna win the whole thing

Ryan Harris: The schwam doin golf just isnt the same.

Kyle McCarthy: @McIlroyRory is killin it! #usopen

Eric Olsen: Well, watching the #USOpen gave me the itch. Hitting the links with Drewbie.

Terrell Davis: Watching the US Open. Rory McIlroy is putting on a clinic. wow!...Hope he learned from his experience at The Masters...Oh oh Rory!! Better get your mind right for the weekend...It's the perfect day. With my son watching the US Open...Rory came out swingin...Rory McIlroy had an incredible tourney but come on, he ain't quite in Tiger's company. So please stop it!

Zane Beadles: Congrats to @McIlroyRory on a spectacular performance. That's a great example of fight and perseverance coming back from the masters.

And Braxton Kelley on Wimbledon:

Watchin tennis! Thought: I would not want serena to slap me. Her biceps bigger than mine!...Watchin tennis. looks like serena is playin pretty well since her injuries!

The Beach Boys and David Lee Roth wouldn't agree with Cassius Vaughn's sentiments...

I'm taking SOUTHERN women over West Coast women all day

Olsen on the dangers of driving and talking/texting while female:

If you're a girl, put your phone down when you drive. You're dangerous enough when you're paying attention.

Wes Woodyard on communication etiquette and just leaving him alone...

Not to be rude and all but if i dont answer your calls or txt then why do you think ill answer your skype call? not being rude

Plus, Woodyard's iPhone-generated frustrations:

Aight y does my iPhone keep spell checking and changing the words I don't want to change but the words I want to change it doesn't!

Braxton Kelley on the intricacies of bathroom hygiene, although he is making some assumptions about what the guy was doing in there in the first place...

Dude just came out stall didn't wash his hands. Makes u wonder if u don't wash yo hand y would u wipe yo Ass.Hands r wat get close to mouth?

Sounds like Demaryius Thomas is progressing in his rehab:

Doc josh tried killing me today.. Leg is on fire, but I see great results

Woodyard addresses his doubters:

If we don't have people like you to say we can't do something then it wouldn't be monumental for us when our dreams come true! So thank you

Gold star to anyone who understands what's going on here...

Woodyard: @CassiusVaughn you and your brother syd'quan ain't call me yesterday to wish y'all dad a happy fathers day! U kno I love y'all son lol

Vaughn: @WoodDro59 damn daywalker we did know you can use twitter from hell and the only way to talk you you is if we die...happy zombie day\

Wow, how easygoing must Zane Beadles be if this is his biggest peeve?

#1thingicantstand when someone stops the microwave early and doesn't clear the timer

Brandon Minor apparently saw a future candidate for Mom of the Year:

I just saw a pregnant lady walk out the club, damn shame the baby hit the club b4 they was born

Plus, Father's Day musings from Minor...

Happy baby daddy day. This gotta be the weakest holiday, all I see is dudes takin their ladies out smh I thought we already had mothers day...How many ladies just found out that their man is a father? Priceless lol...S/O 2 the almost-fathers who girl got that abortion lmao it was almost yo day

More on Stink's surreal Father's Day weekend:

Just dropped my boy off at Coors field...It was just like dropping him off at little league only completely different!...just in my mouth a little. “@Bmax25: @markschlereth do you throw up when Daniel pitches like you use to before broncos games?”...skipping church this morning as we head to Coors for a fathers day treat rox vs tigs but I would be blessed to hear your churchy thoughts!...1/1Being a father is the biggest privilege, honor, and responsibility a man can have! I am humbled by it everyday!

Doug is IAOFM’s resident newsman and spelling czar. Follow him on Twitter @IAOFM

Tweets of the Week