The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 8

Terror plots were thwarted this week.

If only I could thwart Peter King.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his calculator mind.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula. If that doesn’t work, I contemplate how many chicks Brett Favre has picture-texted his junk until the picks come to me.

This week, we continue our section called Peter King Actually Wrote This.

So how has the RNG done this week?

EXPERT Wins Total Percentage EXPERT Wins Total Percentage
Jason Cole 66 104 63.46% Ron Jaworski 57 96 59.38%
Chris Mortensen 66 104 63.46% Peter King 61 104 58.65%
Mark Schlereth 64 104 61.54% Doug Lee 58 104 55.77%
Yahoo Users 63 104 60.58% RNG 56 104 53.85%
TJ “The Dude” Johnson 63 104 60.58% Adam Schefter 56 104 53.85%
Mike Golic 62 104 59.62% Merril Hoge 55 104 52.88%
Michael Silver 62 104 59.62% Pete Prisco 54 104 51.92%
Les Carpenter 62 104 59.62% Eric Allen 50 104 48.08%
ESPN Pigskin Pick ‘Em 62 104 59.62% Jesus Quintana 45 104 43.27%
Accuscore 62 104 59.62% Raiders Fans 3 104 2.88%

The RNG is holding its head above water and, as you would expect, is beating several of the experts.

Jesus Quintana is simply getting crushed at this point.  I’m probably going to retire the cat after the bye week and open the slot up to Fat Man’s readers, so we can get some real competition in here.  Am I going to tell Quintana?  No way.  I still have to live with him.

As predicted last week, Doug Lee is making a run, while I continue to lose ground against nerds Jason Cole and Chris Mortensen.  Could someone just shove these two into a locker so that they miss this week?

Now on to this week’s picks.

PIcks for Week 8

WEEK 8   Random Number Generator Jesus Quintana TJ “The Dude” Johnson Doug Lee
VISTOR HOME Pick Pick Team Team
MIA CIN MIA MIA MIA CIN
JAX DAL JAX DAL DAL DAL
WAS DET DET DET WAS WAS
BUF KC BUF KC KC KC
CAR STL STL STL STL STL
GB NYJ GB NYJ NYJ NYJ
DEN SF SF DEN DEN DEN
TEN SD SD SD SD TEN
SEA OAK OAK SEA SEA SEA
MIN NE NE MIN MIN NE
TB ARI ARI ARI ARI ARI
PIT NO PIT PIT NO PIT
HOU IND HOU HOU IND IND

 

You’ll notice the RNG took the 49ers.  Because the 49ers are technically the home team, they have a 57% statistical edge with the RNG.  Don’t blame the machine for not knowing San Francisco isn’t London.

Quintana’s Upset Specials

As always, I urge you: do the opposite of the animal if you care about your picks. 

This week Quintana has only one upset special, and that’s the Sea Chicks over the Raiders.  Quintana tells me that when everyone begins to drink Oakland’s Kool Aid, that is precisely the time to bet against them. 

I happen to agree.  The Raiders are still the Raiders.  One game does not a turnaround make; it doesn’t make Tom Cable’s haircut any better.

 

Peter King Actually Wrote This

I really don’t have a reason to dislike Peter King.  In fact, there are times I think he’s done some great stuff.  His Monday Morning Quarterback and Weekly Picks are not these times.  He comments on every single game as if he’s watched them all by Sunday night, which of course, he hasn’t; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pick a correct score (yes, he tries to pick the exact score, folks); he sometimes writes some bizarre stuff, like this doozy:

Halloween night in New Orleans. National TV. Michaels and Collinsworth. Feisty crowd. Very loud. Steelers without one of their five most valuable players, defensive end Aaron Smith.

It’s Halloween and the Steelers are losing their 5th-best player.  Scary indeed, King.  But hardly worth all of that.  That’s like saying the Broncos are going to be without the services of Robert Ayers—oh, they are.  And what’s with the Michaels and Collinsworth stuff sandwiched in between the big-game imagery?  I didn’t realize Chris Collinsworth sets the tone like this.

Feel free to give us your feelings on any of the games.  Better yet, be prepared to make your own picks when we bench Quintana.


If you like to see The Dude slack off 24/7, you can always find him on Facebook and Twitter. Or you can email him at: tjthedudejohnson@gmail.com.  He assumes you are following It’s All Over, Fat Man! on Facebook and Twitter, but if you are not, that’s nihilistic.

I’m glad we had this talk.  Now, vaya con Dios, Brah.

Agree, disagree, just like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter so I can quit my day job.

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