The Dude Abides: All I ever really wanted to know I learned from Raiders camp

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Raider's camp. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the eye's of Tom Cable.

These are the things I learned...

Share everything...unless that punk Randy Hanson is in the room.

Play fair...unless you can attack from behind without them knowing.

Don't hit people...unless they piss you off and you really want to "break some skulls."

Put things back where you found them...unless the Oakland PR staff has some interns to pick it up. 

Clean up your own mess...unless you can just say, "we're handling this internally."

Don't take things that aren't yours...unless it's Randy Hanson's head, and you really want to take it with you.

Say sorry when you hurt somebody...unless you really want to say, "I am going to kill you.  I am going to kill you."

Wash your hands before you eat...unless your swallowing souls.

Flush...unless Al Davis turned off the toilets to save some cash.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you...unless you can eat Randy Hanson for a quick snack. 

Live a balanced life...unless you can just pick up a chair in fury. 

Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some..unless your name is Raider (insert name here), then you can just grunt and yell really loud.

Take a nap every afternoon...unless you hang with crypt keepers.

When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together...unless Randy Hanson is with you, then push him into the street.

Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that...not Randy Hanson, kill this guy.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup - they all die. So do we...unless you're Al Davis, then you never die.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK...unless it's Randy Hanson you see, then look for a shank.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere...unless it's in Randy Hanson's head, then you shake it loose..really really hard.

The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation...unless you're Al Davis, then you make the rules.

Ecology and politics and sane living..unless you dress like a silver and black drag queen and watch from the Black Hole.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together...unless you are Raider Nation, then you each each other for breakfast, and what's left for lunch.

Originally posted at MHR

I’m glad we had this talk.  Now, vaya con Dios, Brah.

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