The Daily Lard 5-30-12

Good Morning, Broncos fans! Denver hired Cory Undlin to be their new defensive quality control coach; Undlin follows new DC Jack Del Rio from Jacksonville, where he coached the Jaguars secondary last season.

This fills the vacancy created by the retirement of longtime defensive line coach Wayne Nunnely and subsequent shift by former quality control coach Jay Rodgers to replace him.

Prior to his three seasons on Del Rio's staff, Undlin worked under Bill Belichick and Romeo Crennel in New England in 2004 and joined Crennel in Cleveland for four seasons. Clearly, this is another successful effort by the hooded one to infiltrate Dove Valley with one of his spies. Look for Undlin to be Josh McDaniels's defensive coordinator with the Patriots once Belichick calls it quits.

Broncos

Denver opens its second set of OTAs today and will again be without Derek Wolfe, who's still in school; Jeff Legwold doesn't buy the theory that says Denver reached for several of its 2012 draft picks.

Ben Garland will be sworn into the Colorado Air National Guard today.

Funny how Denver Broncos WR Eric Decker says something, and it's a Tebow story we shouldn't mention.

After a team golf outing, the Broncos honored Jim Saccomano for his 35 years of employment yesterday; Klis does the same by nauseatingly calling Sacco "the face and personality" of the franchise. Hey Klis, take off your shoes, they're all that's keeping you from being completely up Sacco's ass.

Speaking of ridiculous claims by Klis (he was on a roll yesterday), he uses the occasion of Peyton Manning's orange #18 taking over as the #1 selling NFL jersey to proclaim that his boy Tim Tebow "arguably became the most well-known athlete in American sports history" last season. WOW. That could be dumber than anything Woody Paige has ever written, raised to the power of the dumbest things Woody has ever said on Around the Horn. Hey Klis, ever heard of Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan, or Tiger Woods?

Man, what was in the water cooler at the DP yesterday? Mark Kiszla labels concerns over the long-term effects of football with words like overreaction, knee-jerk and hand-wringing.

Stuart Zaas revisits last week's comments from Von Miller and Elvis Dumervil.

Trimmings

Former Saints and Pats CB Randall Gay says the after effects of concussions forced his retirement from the game. On the flip side, Kevin Kolb says he doesn't worry about concussions despite having lost a chunk of his 2011 season to one.

Judge Susan Nelson dismissed a lawsuit filed by a group of retired players against the NFLPA; the union has asked an arbitrator to clarify how many times Drew Brees has been tagged according to the new CBA; Andrew Brandt and Alex Marvez detail the acrimony between the NFLPA and the league.

Miami coach Joe Philbin announced his team would be the subject of HBO's Hard Knocks, hilariously calling the choice "a football decision."

Nick Fairley faces a likely suspension thanks to his two recent arrests; the transgressions of Fairley and Mikel Leshoure could cost the Lions via league sanctions. Doug Farrar says Jim Schwartz & Co are straddling a delicate line between wanting players who perform with an edge, and those who go over it; Albert Breer says Detroit knowingly collected questionable characters, and the rest of the league is now smirking.

Indy signed the Shantastic George Foster; the agent for Donald Driver says the WR will be back in Green Bay this season; New England already dumped WR Anthony Gonzalez; the Jets added tackles Stephon Heyer and Ray Willis.

A week after the Bears questioned the durability of Matt Forte, the Jags are letting it be known they think Maurice Jones-Drew has lost a step.

Cam Newton says his own immaturity made him a bad teammate when the Panthers lost last year. Meanwhile, Doug Farrar revisits Alex Smith's stupid comments from last week and compares Smith's pathetic rookie season to the historically great one Newton had.

Scrapple

Olympian Lolo Jones says she heard Tebow has a secret girlfriend; Timmy apparently can't throw because he wears Satan's gear; at least Nick Mangold has the right approach to Tebowmania.

In his forthcoming book, Warren Sapp takes shots at Monte Kiffin, Trent Dilfer, Keyshawn Johnson, and Sam Wyche.

Terrell Owens was dumped by the IFL and stripped of his ownership share of the Wranglers based upon claims that he didn't honor his contract. But really, it just sounds like the Wranglers didn't profit enough from bringing in TO, and that they're weaseling out of their deal.

One day of OTAs is enough to make Jon Baldwin out to be the next Randy Moss; Joe Fortenbaugh thinks the Chiefs will struggle early with a tough schedule.

Mike Tanier reviews the offseason moves of the NFCS teams; Ben Muth evaluates Atlanta's offensive line.

Here's what Chris Brown has been reading; Matt Bowen explains how the zone blitz works.

Tom Brady has his California cred questioned in the latest video from Funny or Die.

Over at KSK, a look at the positive message of Arian Foster's forearm tattoo, the HS yearbook photo of Daniel Snyder, and an appearance by several of the Dolphins' celebrity owners.

Doug is IAOFM’s resident newsman and spelling czar. Follow him on Twitter @IAOFM

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