The Daily Lard 5-25-12

Happy Friday, Broncos fans! Now that it's okay to be honest about it, Mark Kiszla says the Broncos are better off sans Tebowmania, and do you see the position of that ball? Just, wow. Kiz observes that the chatter in Denver is about actual football rather than who's not dating whom. But since the Broncos' first OTA wrapped up on Wednesday, what else is there to talk about than young Teebs?

Timmy threw two picks when he should have checked down (sound familiar?) and worked as a punt protector yesterday during the open session of the Jets' OTA. After practice, the crisper Mark Sanchez conversed with Jets brass, while Tebow worked to maintain the polish on his image with the PR guy.

In other Tebow-related news, Olympian Lolo Jones says she still has her V card, prompting Timmy's Jets mates to suggest a potential love match; plus, Snoop Dogg Tebowed after throwing out the first pitch at Comiskey.

But we'll save our heartiest derision for Alex Smith, who attacked football statistics via the typical meathead strategy otherwise known as a straw man. Apparently us stats geeks are purely interested in evaluating QBs by how many yards they pass for (and of course, none of us ever watch games, or tape, right meatheads?).

Incredibly, Smith - who was middling or sucked for five years before Jim Harbaugh eliminated sight adjustments from the Niners offense - aimed his ire at none other than Cameron Newton, who was responsible for almost double the number of touchdowns (35 to 19) as Smith last year.

In response, Smith was appropriately pwned by Newton's teammate Jon Beason, who reminded the Twitterverse that Smith might still be searching for another job had PMFM chosen to become San Francisco's next treat.

Broncos

Jeff Legwold says the contract impasse with Ty Warren is unlikely to be resolved before the Broncos' mandatory June minicamp; he's unsure if Denver is interested in free agent Tommie Harris.

Von Miller is #52 on NFLN's list of the Top 100 players. Here's the video clip, including commentary from Ryan Clady and Champ Bailey; plus, Von's reaction on NFLN.

Here's the AP's take on Miller and Elvis Dumervil's comments from Wednesday about their relationship and respective weight changes.

Terrell Davis visited KDVR to discuss the Broncos, BBQ sauce, and helping kids.

Congratulations to Broncos fan Mary Jo Miller on her retirement after 37 years spent teaching elementary school in Cañon City, CO.

Dow Jones writer Al Lewis is still bitter about having his service at a steakhouse evaporate with the arrival of one Pat Bowlen at a competing table.

Trimmings

Opera singer and former Colts and Bengals TE Ben Utecht is still suffering the after effects of his football concussions three years after his retirement.

George Cohen will mediate the dispute between the NFL and the referees' union, just like he did with the league and NFLPA during the lockout.

The new Vikings stadium is another step closer to approval after a vote squeaked by the Minneapolis City Council.

Nick Eason, who had second thoughts about playing football once he met Shanny, is still playing nine years later, and he dropped 40 pounds this offseason.

Former Raiders LB Quentin Groves signed with the Cardinals; Chicago signed ex-Jags DT Nate Collins; guard Brian Waters is expected back with the Pats this season.

Giants WR Hakeem Nicks broke a bone in his foot, will require surgery, and is expected to miss 12 weeks. And in a reminder of just how brutal a business the NFL is, the Giants waived CB Brian Witherspoon a day after he tore his ACL for the second straight year.

The Eagles hired former Steelers and Bills personnel exec Tom Donahoe.

Scrapple

Mike Tanier lists the top running backs in Rams and Niners history; Doug Farrar and Greg Cosell break down the drafts of the NFCS teams in their latest podcast.

To help promote his new book, Chris Brown shares his story with football blog Eleven Warriors and critiques Barack Obama's throwing motion. Plus, more of his book tour and what he's been reading, and a breakdown of how to attack Nick Saban's Alabama defense.

A Boston high schooler has developed quite an expertise at long snapping.

Chad Johnson is heartbroken over the theft of a Starbucks card from his car; it appears Charlie Sheen placed the #winning bid for LT's SB ring.

Over at KSK, a Kill Kill Kill overmatch, some classic 90s-era Iggles fans, and their latest Sex/FF mailbag.

Been a rough couple of days for the great city of New Orleans: first, Colin Cowherd dumps all over them with some trumped up fears. Yesterday, the owners of the Times-Picayune - the paper which served a vital role in documenting Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath - announced they will scale back printing to three days per week. To make matters worse, employees learned of forthcoming staff reductions via the Times and Twitter.

Doug is IAOFM’s resident newsman and spelling czar. Follow him on Twitter @IAOFM

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