The Daily Lard 1-26-12

Good Morning, Broncos fans! The self-appointed Grand Poobah of Denver sports has proclaimed:

  1. Denver should go with Richard Smith at DC, because Woody likes the job he did with the linebackers this year.
  2. For some reason, Woody thinks Chuck Pagano (who took the Colts job) was a possibility, even though he was already a DC in Baltimore. Really, this is just some mental masturbation so that after Pagano has success in Indy, Woodrow can say he wanted Denver to hire him.
  3. He says Eddie Royal "really wants to return" and even posits that he "probably will." Yeah, right.
  4. Who else but Woody would have the chutzpah to apply the "bust" label to a seventh-round pick who played in 15 games (three starts) like he did with Virgil Green? Paige even says Green and fellow rookie Julius Thomas need to "get a clue."
  5. He expects the Broncos to trade out of the first round. This is called throwing $#!t against the wall in hopes of it sticking.
  6. Woody doesn't expect the Broncos to draft a QB, and of course he doesn't think they should.
  7. He actually extends an olive branch out to Mike McCoy and praises the stellar work he did this year. Let's see if his minions do the same...
  8. And, to top it all off, Woody says John Elway got too much credit for his comeback wins just as Tim Tebow does. And, wait for it...wait for it...John Elway was never a pure pocket passer. Only the greatest QB prospect in perhaps the history of the sport, but he was just an earlier version of Tebow. They're basically the same guy!

Broncos

John Elway spoke about entering his second year as a personnel man prepping for the draft.

Brian Xanders says the team set their initial draft board in December, replete with red flags for work ethic and off-field behavior.

John Fox claims the FO won't think seriously about his next DC until after the Senior Bowl.

Kenny Legan checked in with Virgil Green and Mike Mohamed to see what they'll plan to work on this offseason.

Dennis Allen

Allen has not yet been introduced as Oakland's coach; he and Reggie McKenzie reportedly only have a handshake agreement at this point.

Jerry McDonald profiles Allen, whom he says is busy putting together his coaching staff - and unlike Oakland's head coaches under Al Davis, Allen will actually get to choose his own.

Allen and Raiders punter Shane Lechler were teammates at A&M.

Sam DeWitt agrees that this hire certainly hurts the Broncos, although we'll see whether it helps the Raiders.

Eli Kaberon sees similarities between this Oakland hiring and that of Jon Gruden in 1998.

Trimmings

The owners extended Roger Goodell's contract through the 2018 season.

Indianapolis hired Ravens DC Chuck Pagano to be their new head coach; his brother John, the Chargers' new DC, will stay in San Diego rather than join him.

Tampa Bay interviewed Mike Sherman again yesterday.

Steelers NT Chris Hoke is retiring; a neck injury ended his season in December.

Aaron Rodgers could see his backup Matt Flynn landing in either Miami with Joe Philbin or Seattle.

Players will be able to tweet from sideline tweet stations (surely those will look ridiculous) during the Pro Bowl, as if that will somehow make the game interesting?

Plain Dealer writer Tony Grossi was removed from the Browns beat after he called team owner Randy Lerner an irrelevant billionaire.

Sun-Times writer Rick Telander says Jay Cutler's surliness makes him unpopular in Bears HQ; didn't we read similar things in the DP, perhaps from Woodrow?

Daily Supe

Andy Benoit shares some quick film notes, plus a bunch of storylines he expects will be beaten into our heads over the next week or so.

Speaking of which, Mike Freeman is sick of hearing the Giants players' claims that nobody respects them.

Mike Silver thinks the Pats/Giants matchup is a rather unfortunate one for a few guys like Sexy Rexy and Randy Moss.

Jack Moore explores the WPA impact of Sterling Moore knocking the ball out of Lee Evans' hands on Sunday.

The best SB commercials ever, according to the Grantland staff.

Bill Barnwell checks in on the odds for next year's SB; the Broncos are 50:1 for now.

Scrapple

Part 2 of Andrew Brandt's look at what faces the Colts and Peyton Manning regarding their future together or apart.

Jack Bechta weighs the implications of Andrew Luck choosing his uncle as his agent.

Sam Monson explores tackle stats by safeties and finds that Rahim Moore was one of the worst in the league this year.

Aaron Schatz and Brian Burke react to some skepticism regarding FO's adjusting for a team's opponents in their rankings.

Here's a neat infographic site for all Super Bowls. (via FO)

More captionization of Sunday's games from KSK.

Drew Magary presents his latest Funbag, in which he recommends standing while you work and considers whether there's a farting etiquette in pro sports.

Mockery

North team practice notes from Mike Tanier, Wes Bunting and Andrew Mason; plus, Tanier, Bunting and Mason's South squad notes.

Lammy/Bramel/Waldman share their risers and fallers from yesterday's practices.

Pat Kirwan focuses on the top DE/OLB tweeners at the Senior Bowl.

Bucky Brooks and Rob Rang have each been impressed by BSU DE Shea McClellin.

Gil Brandt lists his top 100 draft prospects.

Jeff Legwold scouts Alabama DE Courtney Upshaw.

Doug is IAOFM’s resident newsman and spelling czar. Follow him on Twitter @IAOFM

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