Thank Goodness Pat Bowlen is nothing like Jerry Jones Lard

Good Morning, Broncos fans! Make sure you're sitting down for this one. It's a real shocker:

An appeals court has ruled that D.J. Williams's six-game suspension for having submitted a non-human urine sample should not be overturned. However, the three-judge panel did say the league and players union need to improve the collection process, and it's hard not to agree with that.

After all, D.J. wouldn't have had the chance to futz around with his bottle of liquid if the collector were allowed into the locker room. What a strange job, right?

Naturally, the Broncos believe Peyton Manning is good to go; Champ Bailey says the defense still has room for improvement.

As for the decision to go with Aaron Brewer over Lonie Paxton, John Fox cited the youngster's athleticism and protection ability; the official site's accounting says Brewer snapped for four punts and an extra point on Sunday, although the league's gamebook shows him as not seeing any action. Andrew Mason figures money had to factor in, and why not? Brewer is younger, will make less than half of what Paxton was set to be paid, and if he can do the job, he can do the job.

Typical of the class act that he is, Paxton released a statement thanking the fans for their support during his three seasons in Denver.

Broncos

Kickoff on Thursday night will be at 11:06pm ET, which obviously does not make this East Coaster happy. The late start time is apparently so that more people will get to hear Mitt Romney remind us all that he's white and was born in this country.

Tell us if you've read this before: Legwold says the Broncos need better tackling and blocking from their backups, and that the receivers have dropped too many passes this preseason. Also, he consults the Rolodex to find that Malik Jackson has been a pleasant surprise so far.

In reviewing Sunday's game, Nathan Jahnke sees a mixed bag from Joel Dreessen and Jacob Tamme, a clear #3 receiver in Brandon Stokley, and some struggles from Derek Wolfe.

Bucky Brooks finds much to be impressed by from Manning on Sunday, and he breaks down Peyton's final throw of the day (the second TD pass to Eric Decker).

The John Fox Show will air weekly on Denver's channel 7.

FWIW (not much), ESPN Mag has the Packers going 19-0, capping off their season with a victory over the 15-5 Broncos in the Super Bowl.

Trimmings

WR Mike Wallace is expected to finally report to the Steelers today. What are the chances he'll be in good enough shape to be much of a factor twelve days from now?

Oakland signed WR/PR Roscoe Parrish, who had been among the Chargers' cuts earlier in the day. Parrish had been a devastating returner earlier in his career but has slipped in recent years.

Kansas City named Brady Quinn their number-two QB and primary backup to Matt Cassel.

New England gave TE Aaron Hernandez $16M in guarantees as part of a five-year extension. Old friends Jabar Gaffney and Gerard Warren, plus WR Donte' Stallworth, were among the team's first cuts, while old friends Spencer Larsen and Josh Barrett were placed on IR.

The Jets traded RT Wayne Hunter to the Rams in return for former second-overall pick T Jason Smith, and they released K Josh Brown, who lost his competition with the incumbent Nick Folk.

Shanny & Co. dealt CB Kevin Barnes to Detroit and chose to keep kicker Graham Gano over Neil Rackers, whom they cut.

Buffalo released Vince Young; the conditional pick they sent to Seattle in return for Tarvaris is a seventh-rounder that could become a sixth-rounder.

A year after giving him a $4M signing bonus, Carolina dumped K Olindo Mare in favor of a former CFL kicker. They also released former Denver draftee P Nick Harris.

Green Bay placed LB Desmond Bishop on IR; Cleveland did the same with DT Phillip Taylor, LB Chris Gocong, and LB Emmanuel Acho.

Baltimore placed Terrell Suggs on their PUP list; he's expected to miss the first half of the season, so they likely expect him back in time for their Week 15 matchup with the Broncos. But we'll see...

Scrapple

Jason Cole is apparently to NFL ownership what Len Pasquarelli is to player agents (that is to say, a mouthpiece), as evidenced by this shill job where he says the replacement refs will do a fine job. Apparently all they need is a little more experience.

Andy Benoit thinks the Colts are headed in the right direction with Andrew Luck, but are too weak on defense to be very good; John Castellane previews the Titans for PFF.

Due to Peyton's injury, Ryan Clady is the lone Broncos offensive player among Mike Lombardi's annual blue/red chip list.

Chase Stuart researches linebackers who have remained most effective past the age of 33, with Ray Lewis and London Fletcher leading the way for current players. Keith Brooking is also on the list.

Keith Goldner finds that the likelihood of scoring a touchdown on a play is generally not affected by whether it's first, second, or third down.

Drew Magary on the Bills, plus Christmas Ape trudges through the awfulness that was PK's MMQB.

Offal

A year after winning over the hearts of Zombies everywhere, NFLN "analyst" Heath Evans continues to fluff the Teebs, this time calling him more of a winner than Mark Sanchez. Meanwhile, Ape considers the Jets' chances this season.

Russ Lande thinks Matt Barkley is better than his USC predecessors in many ways, but not in arm strength; Nolan Nawrocki says that questions about his size add to the doubts that Barkley can be a franchise QB in the NFL.

MJD is pleased to find that EA actually made some notable changes to its Madden game, in the form of better AI and more realistic reactions to contact.

Here's an epic collection of WWF promo pics from the 80s and 90s. Doesn't get much better than that.

Golden Girl Gabby Douglas says fellow gymnasts used to refer to her as their "slave." But we're post-racial here, right? F#$% Yeah, Amurrrica!

In case you'd forgotten that Pat Bowlen > Jerry Jones, there's always this...

Doug is IAOFM’s resident newsman and spelling czar. Follow him on Twitter @IAOFM

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