Ted Bartlett…making you puke since 2008

I’ve recently been accused of loving myself too much (and not for the first time, incidentally).  This paragraph is expressly designed to be a completely irrelevant, and pointless throwaway, since it has recently come to my attention that some readers skip my first paragraph.  That way, cleverly, they can ignore all the nice things I say about myself.  I mean, hell… chances are nothing interesting about football could be there.  I’m just warming up, right?

Right.  Today, were going to change it up.  I’m going to pretend that I’m no better than any other person who opines about football on the internet.  I’ll use every stupid cliche I can think of, and share opinions and thoughts which are informed by nothing more than common football knowledge.  More than anything, though, I’ll be humble, and seek the center of the discourse.  Humility is what sells in Oregon, apparently.  You’ll be able to easily picture me as a writer for CBS, Fox, or even ESPN.  Let’s see how y’all enjoy that.  Starting…. now.

Experts everywhere are seeing tomorrow’s contest pitting the Titans against the Broncos as a mismatch.  It probably is, because, after all, thosee experts know best.  The first thing you have to do is consider the trends.  The Broncos are 3-10 in their last 13 games, including last season’s abominable collapse, which you could almost call proverbial, since it happened a couple years in a row.  Forget the fact that I misused the word “proverbial” because this is an important point.  A collapsing team is a terrible football team, and Josh McDaniels needs to dial 911.  The Titans are 10-3 in their last 13 games, and it is because they are amazing.  Nothing more really needs to be said, right?

The Titans will probably give the Broncos fits on Sunday, because McDaniels is an egomaniac, who insisted on trading all of Mike Shanahan’s players away, due to his arrogance.  The starters who are leftover from the Shanahan era, like Ryan Clady, Ryan Harris, Chris Kuper, Eddie Royal, Elvis Dumervil, D.J. Williams, Champ Bailey, and Matt Prater don’t matter, because they mostly don’t figure into fantasy football, except for Royal and Prater.  NFL games are played so that stats can be added up, and compared to determine which fantasy player is smartest, so we have to fully consider what’s relevant here.

Kyle Orton has a noodle arm, and none of the Broncos WRs is even a worthy fantasy starter, because how do you even know who is going to get the ball one week or the next?  It’s almost as if they’re trying not to have a #1 receiver just to torment fantasy owners.  This is not how you win in the NFL.  The Titans, on the other hand, constantly give the ball to Chris Johnson, so if your fantasy team has him, you’re in good shape.  Johnson is pretty much the greatest RB ever, and at least Vince Young’s arm isn’t a noodle.  I mean, come on.  Young was the 3rd pick in the 2006 Draft, and Orton was a 4th rounder in 2005.  I mean, hello!!!!  This is simple math.  You always take the first rounder over the fourth rounder.  Young is literally 2,500% better than Orton, if you consult a draft value chart.

The Titans are good at handling adversity, and they have momentum.  I bet they probably have a psychological advantage, since they don’t play for an egomaniac.  In my opinion, if Johnson rushes for more than 82 yards, and scores 1 TD, and assuming no lost fumbles, his 14 fantasy points will be enough to carry the day.  This will end up being a major storyline, maybe even one that Peter King will deem worthy to include in MMQB, which is the industry’s gold standard.  The Broncos used to have a good club, but there was a changing of the guard in the NFL.  Maybe it’s time for Quarterback Of The Future Tim Tebow to stop being the heir apparent, and take over the starting assignment.  Then, at least, you’d have a first rounder starting against a first rounder.

Defense wins championships.  It’s all about the red zone.  Tomorrow, Broncos fans will be on the edges of their seats with their hearts in their throats.  In conclusion, just look at the power rankings.  They ALL have the Titans as the better team.  It’s unanimous, folks.  This is the information that’s available to all of us, so we should heed that information.  Titans win big in this one.  Of course, this is only the opinion of one completely average writer and observer.  I may be wrong, and if I am, I’ll just pretend it never happened.

Originally posted at One Man Football

1.  I’m not in the arguing business, I’m in the saying what I think business.
2.  I get my information from my eyes.

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