celebration of mocking Matt Prater's recent four-game suspension, we thought it might be interesting to look back at how it all began.
Maybe you'll recall the scene.
3 o'clock in the morning. August 2nd, 2011. Matt Prater and a 22-year old female employee of Shotgun Willie's are sitting in a Chevy Trailblazer in the parking lot of a local Hyatt.
One can only guess the topic of conversation.
Perhaps they are talking about quantum physics.
Perhaps they are talking about what happens when you hit the ball on the laces.
Perhaps they are discussing Prater's crazy night in Tijuana.
Perhaps Prater realizes he left his condoms in the dresser at his parent's house.
One thing is true, though: Prater's blood alcohol content will later be determined to be 0.142, which is the equivalent of more than six drinks for a man his size. You can imagine where it goes from here.
Prater smacks the Trailblazer into a car and flees the scene. There are no fewer than four witnesses.
When cops arrive and interview the 22-year-old woman, she tells them Prater left her at the Hyatt. Too bad for Prater. If he could have only driven properly, he might have scored more than a field goal that night.
Cops then find a Broncos parking permit inside the Trailblazer and a bag full of footballs, but no Prater. He fled, but forgot to hide his balls - his big, giant, leather balls.
At this point, cops search for Prater. They find him (naturally) at a nearby La Quinta, which, in Spanish means, "stupid kicker." Prater insists he hasn't been drinking for awhile, but the cops can smell something on his breath, and from his stumbling and slurring, they are sure it's not a couple of Tic Tacs.
Prater fails his sobriety test miserably in his hotel room. What started out as a sure thing ended up a very bad thing as evidenced from the quote Prater gave police: "I really messed up...I'm going to lose my job."
Prater ended up being wrong then; the Broncos kept him around.
La Quinta's corporate tag line is: Wake up on the bright side.
Prater won't be doing that for awhile. Instead, he'll probably be waking up unemployed.