Homefield Advantage still mulling over potential ski trip to Denver

Denver--With Week 17 almost in the books, Homefield Advantage is still weighing his options.

Faced with the prospect of Houston, Denver, or New England, the elusive recluse, who has vacationed in New England during the last two years, could only say: "I've not made any decision yet."

It's thought that the Houston Texans may have the inside edge due to Houston's mild winter climate, but Denver's ski slopes could also be a deciding factor.  It's unlikely, though, that Homefield Advantage would want a third straight trip to the bitter wind and cold of New England.  By Friday morning, he wasn't giving anything away.

"I love Aspen," he said.  "The girls on the slopes are pretty stacked, if you know what I mean.  And I've not seen Denver since I freebased some NoDoz on gameday with Mark Brunell in '96.  But, listen, I also love moon rocks, too.  Isn't that where Kennedy was shot?  Wait, is Dallas out of this thing yet?"

Jim Saccomano, Broncos Vice President of Public Relations, said that Homefield Advantage, although highly desired, isn't critical for the Broncos in 2012, despite what some fans might think.

"I've been in this PR game since before Reagan bombed Libya," said Saccomano.  "I've seen everything. Homefield Advantage did some serious blow the night before the 1986 AFC Championship and completely messed with the Browns on gameday.  It was to our advantage back then, but you never know what you're going to get with that guy."

For his part, Homefield Advantage denies doing anything nefarious during any year that he can remember.  "I'm an easygoing guy," he said.  "Ask Belichick.  He'll tell you.  Why would I go out of my way to help that ass?  And we've partied on his fishing boat, too."

Baxter McLove is a product of superior facial hair.

The Stache Never Lies