Gut Reaction: Broncos @ 49ers, Preseason Game 2

It’s too bad the preseason means about as much as a political campaign ad. If things were different, the Broncos would be the hottest team in the NFL right now. In consecutive weeks, they’ve dispatched the Seahawks and 49ers, arguably the two toughest teams in the NFC.

Still, it’s okay to keep hope alive. The Broncos are going to be the frontrunners for awhile—at least until the playoffs.

And don’t forget, they’re still short veterans Chris Harris and Von Miller.

Who said politics can’t be fun?

The Positives

  1. I could honestly write this line each and every game: Peyton Manning may not be the best quarterback of all time, but he’s the best you’ve ever seen. Profound, my friends. Profound. Later tonight, in your sleep, after your wife or girlfriend has rejected your sexual advances, you’ll be sitting there staring up at the ceiling in the dark and you’ll suddenly think, “Oh my god, TJ blew my mind.”
  2. As good as Aqib Talib’s press man coverage continues to be (as advertised), it’s his tackling that has impressed me most after two games. In the NFL it takes a village—a village of cornerbacks who aren’t afraid of a bit of the old ultra-violence.
  3. Wow—no penalty flags in the first quarter. That’s serious progress, even if it’s only preseason.
  4. I loved how the Broncos used combination routes with Wes Welker and Demaryius Thomas today. Watching Thomas create space for Welker’s slant routes never gets old. It’s like masturbation.
  5. While I’m still not slathering around in the Chris Clark pig trough, I did notice he had a pretty nice game at right tackle. Until I’m ready to give him the nod, you’ll find me in the Ryan Clady feed lot getting dirty.
  6. Omar Bolden was electric on defense, and that’s good news, because you can never have enough quality cornerbacks in this league. It also helps if you have a Hall of Fame quarterback, but who’s counting, right?
  7. Speaking of quarterbacks, dear, our little Brock Osweiler is growing up. He's staying strong in the pocket, putting the ball into tight windows, and making pre-snap reads like a big boy.
  8. Congratulations to Cody Latimer on his first touchdown catch. Latimer’s grab was all the more impressive because he separated using his hands and legs.
  9. Brandon Marshall has instincts, the most important trait in a middle linebacker. I don’t want to get too carried away just yet, but Marshall gets me as excited as a stripper pole.
  10. Tony Carter—nice ball skills (see #6).

The Negatives

  1. I know it’s my bias talking here, but I just can’t get enamored with Ronnie Hillman. When he carries the ball, I just keep waiting for the wind to knock him to the ground.
  2. Colin Kaepernick checking down in zone coverage is proof that the dude is improving. In previous years, he probably ducks and runs.
  3. If the pass protection of the Broncos’ second-string offensive line is any indication of depth, then I’d say the Broncos need to make sure they don’t go too far into the deep end of their pool of linemen.
  4. Blaine Gabbert is a negative, which is a positive for the rest of the league.
  5. I suppose it’s a negative that John Fox lost his challenge in the game. Yeah, I know. I’m reaching here.

The Who The Heck Knows

  1. Does it matter that neither team game planned for today? Yeah, in fact, it matters a lot. Next to PEDs, game plans are the lifeblood of the NFL.
  2. Obviously, I erred last week in neglecting to point out that DeMarcus Ware killed it.
  3. Here’s something silly Mike Klis decided to tweet that gave us a good chuckle. We’re still laughing. Come on, Mike. Just because you can sling it better to the right in the backyard with your dog doesn’t mean you can apply the theory to professional football. Sometimes I think Klis plays drinking games during the broadcast, and the magic term is “first down.”
  4. Speaking of being drunk, how about 49ers kicker Phil Dawson?
  5. Brandon Marshall says he gets hit up everyday to speak on issues of mental health. There’s a joke in here somewhere, but I’m not touching it.
  6. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I thought Big Alfred Williams held his own as a color guy today—less hyperbole, less stock phrases, more context.
  7. Too late now, but as I wrote that, Williams used the phrase “playmakers.”
  8. Quick—who would win in a fight between Andrew Mason and Jeff Legwold?
  9. The Chiefs play tonight, but who’s watching besides Chiefs fans?
  10. Where should the Raiders look to relocate? How about out of the league? Just kidding, Raiders fans. Antarctica would be just fine.

I’m glad we had this talk.  Now, vaya con Dios, Brah.

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