New York--Former Broncos running back Travis Henry today announced he is joining current Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie in creating a nonprofit dedicated to advancing the cause of super fathers.
"It's like MENSA," said Henry via telephone from an undisclosed location. "Except for dudes with exceedingly high sperm counts."
The nonprofit, called KHAN (Keep Her Away Now) is named for the legendary warrior Genghis Khan, who it's thought is the ancestor to over 16 million people living today. It's estimated the Mongolian warlord fathered thousands of children with hundreds of women during his lifetime.
"Genghis is my boy," said Cromartie. "He really tapped that ass. The cat was the straight up pimp of 1206."
According to Cromartie, in order to become a member of KHAN, there are three criteria:
- Sire at least six children from three different women
- Have made and lost at least $1 million
- Paid at least 100 billable hours fighting paternity suits
Cromartie wouldn't reveal who's in the exlusive club, but it's thought that legendary fathers like Shawn Kemp, Jason Caffey, Evander Holyfield, and Calvin Murphy are members. It's also rumored that the applications of Vlad Guerrero, Pete Rose, Scott Skiles, and Ray Lewis are still pending. Matt Leinart was reportedly denied membership, but still has many years left to reapply.
Cromartie said he understands that these criteria might make membership difficult, but that anything in life worth joining usually is. "We thought about setting the bar at three kids from two different women--just in case you wanted to bang some opportunist twice. But in the end, we wanted this club to be pretty exclusive."
KHAN's mission statement reads: "KHAN exists to promote the return of the Mack. Period. We believe condoms are lame, gold diggers are lamer, and groupies usually lie about being on birth control."
Henry scoffed at the idea that the nonprofit might be sending out the wrong message on Father's Day. "Please," he said. "We're procreating, man. We're definitely pro fathering."