Broncos’ Saccomano breaks NFL win record

Denver -- And you thought John Elway and Peyton Manning won a lot of games?

Broncos Vice President of Corporate Communications, Jim Saccomano, won his 333rd game for the Denver Broncos on Sunday, putting his win total 147 games above that of previous record holder, Brett Favre.  League officials are currently discussing the validity of Saccomano's record, given that he has not coached or played in a single game since his time with the Broncos began in 1978.

A source inside the league office, who chose to remain anonymous for this story, said of Saccomano's claim, "We've never seen a PR guy claim wins before, so it's new territory.  Either he's got some big brass balls or that much hubris.  We're looking into the issue."

Favre, who was informed of Saccomano's claim this morning, seemed more astonished than angry.  "Who is this guy, Saccomano?" he asked.  "I've never even heard of him.  Does he work for Woody Paige or something?"

The fear from other league sources seems to be that if the NFL credits Saccamano with the wins, it leaves open the potential for others to make similar claims, even fans.

93-year-old Jimmy Rob Frank Thomas, of Farmington, New Mexico,  recently claimed to have been a Bears fan since 1919, and would like to take credit for all 722 of the franchise's wins.  "I was cheering in my mother's womb," said Thomas.  "Halas ain't got nothing on me."

John Elway, whose wins actually count as part of his record, recently said of Saccomano: "Jim's been an outstanding member of our football organization for a long time.  We couldn't have reached 13 wins without him.  His tweets keep improving each game.  He's just trying to get better as a PR guy and put in the work.  I'm pretty sure he had something to do with the touchdown passes this year.  And when I figure out what that is, I'll get back to you."

Baxter McLove is a product of superior facial hair.

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