Bring on Laserface

Good Morning, Broncos fans! In just a few hours, Denver will know the identity of its next opponent - the Chargers if they win in Cincy, and if not, then the Colts.

There are storylines galore in either matchup, starting with the QB showdown between Peyton Manning and either Philip Rivers or Andrew Luck.

Unfortunately, a rematch with Indy would again dredge up all of the Peyton/Indy/Colts talk, and it would mean another week of Jim Irsay's bro-tastic meatheadishness.

Obviously, I'm rooting for whichever team has a better chance of losing to the Broncos.

But not far below on the list of priorities is avoiding the hubris and haughty condescension of Irsay and Jim Saccomano (the winningest PR man in the history of the world) filling the Twittersphere.

Actually, that settles it.

It was impossible for me to root for the Chiefs last night, even though I knew the Broncos would be better off facing Alex Smith than Andrew Luck.

But today, I'm rooting for Laserface, because not only would the Chargers appear to be an easier opponent, but how sweet would it be for Peyton to send Phil home to his twenty offspring?

Broncos

Peyton Manning came out of last week's game knowing that he could easily lose the passing yardage record to a statistical correction, and someone should probably show this to that Masshole Bill Simmons.

Like many of his teammates, Chris Harris is into movies and video games, and he says he's been playing golf since his college days.

Nate Irving thinks his derptastic offsides foul cost Denver the game against San Diego in Week 15, but he also claims the Chargers center should have been flagged for an illegal snap.

WR coach Tyke Tolbert thinks Denver's record of five players with ten or more touchdowns will have some life to it.

Mark Kiszla thinks another one-and-done would put John Fox on shaky ground, or that it should.

Woody Paige would love to see a Broncos/Colts rematch, and he's still pushing his hokey and downright awful nickname for these Broncos.

Chargers/Bengals

While Rivers and Andy Dalton figure to be the main characters in today's plot, don't forget about Jeff Triplette.

Greg CosellChase Stuart, and Eric Williams preview the game.

Given that there are only two possible outcomes to this game, and two possible opponents for Denver, there's something really funny (sad?) about Mike Klis writing, "The only way the Broncos would not play the Colts for a second time this season is if the No. 6-seeded Chargers beat the No. 3-seeded Bengals on Sunday in Cincinnati."

Colts/Chiefs

Khaled ElsayedChris BurkeDon Banks, Albert BreerDan Wetzel, and Jeffri Chadiha react to Indy's epic comeback. Obviously, there's lots of Andrew Luck-fluffing to be found there (yes, he's awesome), so if it gets to be too much, you probably won't want to bother with what Mike Florio has to say.

On the flip side, reading about another Chiefs playoffs loss from the KC perspective (KC StarAdam Teicher, Sam Mellinger, Vahe Gregorian) never gets old, does it?

Saints/Eagles

By knocking off Philly by a 26-24 margin, New Orleans finally claimed its first road playoff win in franchise history. Granted, it was only their sixth attempt, and their fourth with Drew Brees, so it shouldn't have been as big a deal as it's been made out to have been by the media. Playoff road wins are hard for anyone and everyone.

Doug FarrarMike Tanier, Ben Stockwell, and Judy Battista recap the Saints' big win.

News

Jason La Canfora says Adam Gase was Cleveland's first interview target, but given what they just did to Rob Chudzinski, why would he want to go there? JLC says that in addition to Josh McDaniels, the Browns are interested in Auburn's Gus Malzahn and Vandy's James Franklin.

However, Len Pasquarelli suggests the Browns might actually be willing to wait for the Broncos' season to end before hiring a coach, so that they can meet with Gase. That's extremely difficult to believe.

La Canfora adds that down in Tampa Bay, the Glazers went after Jon Gruden and Bill Cowher before settling on Lovie Smith. According to Ian Rapoport, Smith has no intention of cutting bait with Darrelle Revis and his $16M in annual compensation, as had been rumored.

Miscellany

Brian Burke's data says the Broncos are a 50-50 shot to make the Super Bowl, which is the highest of any team.

It doesn't surprise us that Jeff Legwold made some of the worst preseason predictions of any so-called NFL expert out there, but it is absolutely shocking to see Bill Williamson at the other end of that spectrum.

Did you know that snipping your sperm tubes would make you worthy of being compared to Peyton Manning? Apparently so.

Who are you pulling for today - the Chargers, or the Bengals (and thus a rematch with the Colts)?

Doug is IAOFM’s resident newsman and spelling czar. Follow him on Twitter @IAOFM

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