Weekly Picks

Comparing picks generated by a Random Number Generator and an Animal (Jesus Quintana) against a plethora of NFL experts.

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 13

This week, the Naga Viper overtook the Ghost Chili as the world's hottest hot pepper.

The Viper is so hot it can strip paint.  

Quick, slip one into Peter King's next meal.

It might strip down his columns to a readable word count.

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 13"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 12

I have a confession to make.

I've been videotaping Peter King's picks all year.

I am cooperating with Fat Man officials.  I don't think it is good. To have this kind of attention is a distraction, and I think that is how I'm treating it.  I try to do the best I can to limit these distractions every week, and it will be no different here. Certainly I am never looking to do anything that is not within the rules established by Doug Lee and Emmett Smith.

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 12"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 11

Here's a question.  If the Random Number Generator ends up beating Peter King, will King shake its hand?

Or will he just eat a cheese coney with Roger Goodell?

As we usually do, we ask our RNG to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his obsessive-compulsive mind.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula. If that doesn’t work, I refuse to shake hands with myself until the picks come.

So let's see how things stand after Week 10.

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 11"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 10

This week we saw both the Country Music and the Latin Grammy Awards.

If only we could only give Peter King an award for word count.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his Deep-Blue mind.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula. If that doesn’t work, I listen to Darrius Rucker and watch telenovelas until the picks come.

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 10"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 9

I survived the first eight weeks of the Broncos' season and all I got was this lousy tee-shirt.

At least I'm still two games up on that narcissist Peter King.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his lightning-fast mind.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula. If that doesn’t work, I contemplate infinity until the picks come.

This week, we continue our section called Peter King Actually Wrote This.

So how has the RNG done this week?  And am I really dropping the cat out of the picks?

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 9"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 8

Terror plots were thwarted this week.

If only I could thwart Peter King.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his calculator mind.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula. If that doesn’t work, I contemplate how many chicks Brett Favre has picture-texted his junk until the picks come to me.

This week, we continue our section called Peter King Actually Wrote This.

So how has the RNG done this week?

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 8"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 7

Mid-term elections?  Who cares.

Stay home and watch me go negative on Peter King.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his lightning-fast brain.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula. If that doesn’t work, I listen to Fox News and MSNBC at the same time until the picks come to me.

This week, I’m introducing another section called Peter King Actually Wrote This.  You’ll see why after the jump.

So how has the RNG done this week?

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 7"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 6

Perhaps you heard about the daring rescue of the trapped Chilean miners this week.

Well, I didn’t, and Peter King’s ego never takes a rest.

So let’s look at how King got crushed once again.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his superior intellect.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula.  If that doesn’t work, I go to my happy place and chant positive affirmations until the picks come.

So how has the RNG done this week?

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 6"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 5

If you didn’t know, this week they awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

But more importantly, what exactly was Peter King doing?

Continuing to get his butt kicked by my picks, that’s what.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his superior intellect.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula.  If that doesn’t work, I just drink more of grandpa’s cough medicine.

So how has the RNG done?

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 5"

The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 4

This week scientists found existence of a planet in our galaxy capable of supporting life.  Are we getting closer to answering the question, “Are we alone?”

Who really cares. 

I just want to know if randomness is smarter than Peter King.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that, 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his superior intellect.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula.  If that doesn’t work, I just stare at the sun until the pick comes to me.

So how has the RNG done?

Continue reading "The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 4"