Tweets of the Week

Tweets of the Week - Farting and sneezing simultaneously; the end of Von on Twitter?

Zane Beadles and J.D. Walton tagged along with Tim Tebow to the ESPYs last night...

Apparently when you get #verified this kind of stuff starts happening... #fatmanswag http://t.co/u5GOaXu #verified gets you into the @espnmag #stylestudio a well.... thanks to them for a great experience! #fatmanswag...Great time at the @ESPYs with @TimTebow and JD Walton. Time to get my monkey suit off and let my hair down.

Which sparked a bit of jealousy among their teammates...

Woodyard: @zanebeadles hey how did you get front row tickets to the espys? its good to be tebows friend isnt it lol

Ayers: @CassiusVaughn @WoodDro59 my question is what he do for him to get them seats... Lol

Vaughn: @1_900_ayersjr @WoodDro59 i was thinking the same thing he his new bodyguard....lol

Ayers: @CassiusVaughn protecting his body all right...

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Tweets of the Week - Flintstones Vitamins, big man pedicures and stank breath

We've heard/read a gajillion times that the Broncos are likely to pursue a veteran free agent RB or two this summer, and just about every speculative column tabs DeAngelo Williams as a prime target for Denver. One name we haven't seen thrown about much is that of the Ravens' Willis McGahee, who is due to make $6 million in salary in 2011 and with whom Baltimore is said to be seeking a cheaper deal. Apparently D.J. Williams, McGahee's teammate from their Miami Hurricanes days would love to reunite with his old pal, or at least adopt some of his workout recovery wisdom...

DJ: @WillisMcGahee you need to be on my team! I'll play some Fullback for u too...@WoodDro59 I figured out why @WillisMcGahee been working out like a beast. My dog still take flinstone vitamins. I'm headed to wallgreens...@WoodDro59 I also seen @willismcgahee make a protien shake wit breast milk. He said it helps with his recovery.

WM: @DjWilliam55 @wooddro59 so that's how u feel...@DjWilliam55 @wooddro59 I'll giVe y'all the secret when I come over.

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Tweets of the Week: Planking memes and smelly kicks

Britt Davis is a bit irked by the whole planking phenomenon, and he apparently got flamed for sharing that opinion...

I can MAYBE understand young kids doing this "Planking" not knowing history but all you so called grown ups should be ahsamed...And someone already died from doing that please #DoBetter Society...this is embarrassing for all people not just black people...“@iamjennashea: shutup and #plank! @only1BDavis7” lol off twitter for the day let me know when it's safe to come back plankfree

Hmm. It sounds like Davis and Lance Ball got some incorrect info on the provenance of planking, which according to most related articles online is attributed to some folks in Australia who started the "Lying Down Game" only a few years ago...

What source you get this from ?!?! RT @Spoony29: I repeat : #Planking is a racist term used for stacking slaves in slave ships...Ok since my homie @Spoony29 schooled me on #planking >>>everybody need to chill out with it. Depicts a terrible time in black history!!!

Sure would be interesting to hear Davis, Ball and Brandon Minor discuss the merits of planking:

hey @BarackObama i think its bout time you plank bruh

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Tweets of the Week: Stapled-on lips and leaky commercials

Time for our weekly peek into the real lives of the Denver Broncos via their their own words. As always, the tweets have not been edited in any manner and are only meant to show the lighter side of the NFL while helping everyone get to know our favorite players a little better. Enjoy!

Apparently Ryan Harris is not the guy to be lending DVDs to - just ask Ryan Clady about what happens...

Clady: Watching the Wire, wondering where all my seasons are ??? @ryanharris74

Harris: @RyanClady damn u didn't get Em in the mail? I sent it to richMan estates 78 Hollywood dr Beverly hills 90210 Shouldve been there

Clady: @ryanharris74 lol nah man, you got the wrong address. I'm in LA...@ryanharris74 just hold them at your mansion in Cherry Creek

Harris: “@RyanClady: @ryanharris74 just hold them at your mansion in Cherry Creek” maybe, but Youll have to refer me to your mansion finder. Haha

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Tweets of the Week: Customer service and Words With Friends

Time to see what the Broncos have been doing with all their free time over the past week of the lockout. As always, all Tweets are unabridged and unaltered, innocent/humorous misspellings inclusive. Have fun with them!

Not sure what was worse for Wesley Woodyard: having his credit card stolen, or having to deal with his bank's customer service rep:

I got yelled at on the phone by a costumer ser operator. He said YOU CAN NOT go over ur limit! I said it's a new card I'm calling to change...My limit can you help! Well I'd like to but sir YOU CAN NOT exceed your limit! So I say look my cc got stolen so this is a new one and I...Have to set it up and adjust this card like the old one. He says Ohhhh like he understood me and then said Sir(u guessed it) YOU CAN NOT...Go over ur limit even though u have money there NO! So I'm keepin it coo like hey just do what he says just to get ur card fixed! Wrong!...this Convo is going on for like 15mins I'm hot I'm on the beach the sand is starting to burn them Lil hairs off the top of my toe is Dat hot...So after he yells at me again I finally ask him what can I do over the Phone to change it he's like oh you wanted to change ur limit on your...Card? I'm like yesssss then he says SIR I CAN not help you! And said take yo card to CO and do and then hangs up after sayin have a nice day...So now I'm here fire hot(Mad) and burning up! 15min Convo of straight getting punked! Couldn't do a thing bout it!...the moral of the story is never call costumer ser when u r on the beach cause they might hold your money from u so u can't enjoy the beach

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Tweets of the Week - Wendy’s nuggets and pointy noses

Time to hit the tweets, with plenty of insight into our Broncos this week. As always, none of these tweets have been altered in any way, innocent misspellings inclusive. It's all meant in good fun, so hopefully you'll get a good laugh as we head into the weekend...

DJ Williams is not quite what we'd call a foodie, but he sure has specific tastes:

Anyone else get fries from Micky D's then drive to the nearest Wendys and get nuggets ?

DJ's discernment is not confined to fast food. Remember when DJ was talking about trying to outkick his coverage and all? Well, now he's trying to do something about it...

Wanted: 5'5-5'11, 130-160lb depn ,long jet Blk hair, drk eyes, olive skin, nice smile, must have a pointy nose, sense of humor.. Hit me up!

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Tweets of the Week - Three-bill catfight

The days of Alex Gibbs maintaining a gag order on the Broncos' offensive line are long in the past, and today let's point out that it's a good thing. Obviously, back then it was kind of funny - especially the kangaroo court rulings - but the main reason it was okay at the time was that the Broncos were winning, and racking up 1,000-yard backs like Raiders fans do felonies. The downside of that code of silence was it made it much harder to get to know our favorite 300+ pounders, even if today we may wish we didn't have to hear quite so much about Stink's chili. Thanks to the wonders of social meda and Twitter, we now have plenty of daily and unvarnished insight into the personalities and non-football activities of the Broncos' big guys. In that light, let's check in on some more recent bickering between Eric Olsen and Zane Beadles:

Olsen: Watching some lax right now. But how about this action shot of yours truly?? @WYeatman88 ...And here's the caption... @WYeatman88 

Beadles: @EOlsen69 I don't know what's worse. The fact that you played lacrosse or the fact that you still have that picture. 

Olsen: @zanebeadles is jealous that he was never an athlete in his entire life. # Beadles: @EOlsen69 please... We can compare pasts 

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Tweets of the Week: It’s the End of the World

Let's open today's Tweets with a few Rapture-related thoughts from the Broncos. As always, we're just looking for a few lighthearted laughs here, and everything is a direct quote, innocent misspellings and grammar goofs inclusive:

Brandon Minor - So ummmmm, which 6pm does the world pose 2 end cuz ima switch time zones on that azz and hit the club

Quinton Carter - The world possed to end at 6?! Where have I been...F it! I know what I'm bout to do!

Rod Smith - So the world supposed to end in 15 minutes? Whats one thing you gonna try and get in before its over?

Minor again - I wonder how many ppl thought they was gonna die havin sex at 6pm this past Saturday

Eric Olsen - Well partying like the world was ending seemed like a great idea... Didn't plan on paying for it today though #falsealarm...I bet that dude Harold Camping is pretty pissed huh?

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Tweets of the Week - Mustachioed ladies edition

We can't talk lockout all day, can we? I know I can't, nor do I want to. In that spirit, it's time to again churn up the ole' tweet machine, folks! As I expressed in our first installment, please try to take everything that follows (the players' tweets and my commentary) with a generous pinch of salt. These are young men who have spent much of, if not their entire lives chasing the dream of playing in the NFL. Life perspective, proper spelling and grammar don't always fit in or go along with that pursuit - so while we're making light of their tweets, we probably shouldn't view them as painting accurate pictures of who these young men really are. With that in mind, let's see what our favorite players have been up to of late...

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Tweets of the Week - Inaugural make it rain edition

Now that the dust has settled from the draft (not that anyone is done overanalyzing it, including us) and we're amidst a lockout, real actual NFL news is nonexistent becoming harder and harder to come across. And at IAOFM, it's rather important to the four of us that we not waste your time with writing that's complected solely of mental masturbation, at least not our own. We also place a high premium on humor here, because there are too many sites out there that take football (and themselves) a little too seriously.

With that in mind, you'll probably most likely not within the next week never see from us a fifteen-installment list of the Bestest Broncos Born in the Year 1981 or Most Awesomest Bronco Gamez That TJ Ever Saw. What to do...what to do...well, it just so happens that we have the wonders of social media to bail us out. We're interested here in all things Broncos and NFL, and even though Doc, Ted, TJ and I are all busy holding down the couch springs in our parents' basements (in our Underoos), we do have real access to the players. As Rashard Mendenhall proved last week, anyone with a Twitter account and a pair of thumbs can speak their mind to the world - and when Broncos tweet, we are listening.

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