Ted's Analysis

Getting deep about running the ball

I’m a corporate finance guy, by profession, and one of my favorite words is fungible.  It’s a fairly specialized word, and many of you may not know it, so I’ll explain what it means.  If an item is fungible, that means that individual units of that item have mutual sameness, in terms of value, and are easily substituted.  (Commodities tend to be fungible, as mutual sameness is a lot of what makes something a commodity rather than a product.)  Currency is fungible.  One dollar bill has the exact same value as another dollar bill, even if the second one has a phone number written on it lipstick.  A bushel of corn is also fungible, as is a barrel of light sweet crude oil.  Here is the Wikipedia article, if you’re interested.

Employees tend not to be fungible.  Do y’all know of Bill Barnwell of Football Outsiders?  He’s kind of a B-minus football thinker who thinks he’s an A-plus.  Like all the guys at Football Outsiders, and others of their ilk, they tend to over-value statistics, especially the proprietary ones that they create.  Anyway, this fellow Barnwell had a silly tweet the other night.

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A few things about Sunday’s win

Happy Monday Night, or Tuesday morning, or whenever you it is that you read this.  A funny sidebar just occurred to me, as I embark upon this throwaway paragraph.  I always say Happy Monday, or whatever, which long-time readers will recognize going back to my ST&NO days on Mile High Report.  It was recently pointed out to me at work that my use of that greeting convention is rubbing off, and that other people are starting emails that way too.  I can get colleagues to write and speak like me without trying, but I have a harder time getting them to do what I ask in the actual emails.  You know, like sell new business, and get new projects underway.  It’s funny how the power of suggestion works.

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Ted Bartlett…making you puke since 2008

I’ve recently been accused of loving myself too much (and not for the first time, incidentally).  This paragraph is expressly designed to be a completely irrelevant, and pointless throwaway, since it has recently come to my attention that some readers skip my first paragraph.  That way, cleverly, they can ignore all the nice things I say about myself.  I mean, hell… chances are nothing interesting about football could be there.  I’m just warming up, right?

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Deodorize your wastebasket

Now, the real Ted Bartlett version of things.  First, a heart-felt thanks to Bill “Pork Chop” Williamson, James Walker, Alex Marvez, Adam Schein, and Mike Patrick for inspiring some of my language and thinking in the humble version of my pregame column.  They are truly the best at what they do, and stand as excellent examples for a young writer who’s trying really hard to be simultaneously silly, unstylish, and boring.  I humbly thank Jewish G_d (it’s his turn, and he doesn’t like the “O”, you heard?) that I have those All-Stars to crib from.

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Tuesday night thoughts

Happy Tuesday, friends.  I have some thoughts, about football and other things, which shouldn’t surprise you unless you’re new to this rodeo.  If you are, welcome.  Hold on tight, because the bucking is about to start.  If you’ve been here before, you know what’s coming next.  Ready……. BEGIN!!!!

1.  I’m going to tread on potentially touchy ground, so I may as well start right off the bat with it.  Do you remember the 2004 Presidential election in the United States?  I would imagine that most of us do.  I don’t want to make public value judgments about the policy positions of the two candidates, George W. Bush, and John Kerry, but I do have a football point that is germane to that election.

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Thoughts on a Broncos loss

I’m sort of an instant football analyst, which has its pros and cons.  Often, I’m way ahead of other observers in noticing things, and pointing them out, which is a pro.  Sometimes, I see JaMarcus Russell look really good in a preseason game, and it leads me to opine that he’s turning the corner as an NFL QB, which can end up being a con.  For me, it works out more often than not, because I’m a very sophisticated observer of the game, and because I’m always accountable for thoughts that turn out to be wrong.  Not to be immodest, but I know vastly more football than the average person, so I don’t mind admitting a mistake when I was almost always the first to the party saying anything.

A lot of average persons, and no doubt, some below average ones, have been providing some “instant analysis” on Twitter about yesterday’s Colts-Broncos game.  I was going to take a screenshot of some of the foolishness, but I decided that I didn’t want to put anybody specific’s name on the lines of thinking that I am about to completely eviscerate.

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Why you shouldn’t align with the McDaniels haters

Criticizing Josh McDaniels is lots of fun, and it’s not too hard to do.  I mean, let’s face it.  He’s young, (the same age as me, incidentally) and he thinks he knows how to build and run a winning football program.  It’s the same kind of deal as with Raheem Morris, who I’ll be writing about on Tuesday evening.  (I have a planned event tonight… sorry that my around the league stuff will have to wait a day.) How can it be possible that these young guys would dare to act in complete defiance to the football cognoscenti?  (Think about it… it’s really funny to consider fools like Peter King, Mark Kiszla, Woody Paige, and Pete Prisco as being part of a cognoscenti, isn’t it?  No?  How about an intelligentsia?  I didn’t see Dinner for Schmucks, but I’m picturing some distinct similarities.)

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Monday night thoughts

OK, I’m trying to figure out how to make time for this.  Today, I worked 8:30 to 5, came home to find my car broken into, and some stuff stolen, dealt with that, went to an MBA class (HR management… blech) from 8 to 9:15, and caught the end of the Jets-Ravens game, and most of the Chiefs-Chargers game.  Whew!

So, now, after all that, I’m going to share some thoughts from the first weekend.

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Who are the best right tackles?

A long-time reader, Jared Still, asked me for my thoughts on Twitter a few days ago, pertaining to who the best players in the NFL are.  In my 140 character limit, I gave him Peyton Manning and DeMarcus Ware.  He asked me to blog my top 5 to 10, so I am going to.  I’m actually going to do it by position grouping though, so I can turn my small amounts of available time into small bursts of football writing.  (I’m still naturally oriented toward long-form writing, even though I know I need to change that up, to maximize the utility of this blog.)

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Talking about 30 fronts

Hello again, friends, and Happy Friday.  I’m back with some stuff about 30 fronts today, on the heels of my last post about 40 fronts.

If you didn’t catch that post, you should read it.  Yes, I mean now.  Don’t worry, I’ll wait….

OK, welcome back.  Today we’re going to delve into the two main types of 30 fronts, and as with the types of 40 fronts we looked at, one is fundamentally a one-gap scheme, and the other is fundamentally a two-gap scheme.

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