The Jesus, The Generator and the Experts - Week 7

Mid-term elections?  Who cares.

Stay home and watch me go negative on Peter King.

As we usually do, we ask our random number generator (RNG) to makes its picks for the week’s NFL games.  We then compare these picks to the so-called experts.  To make things even more lively, I include my cat, Jesus Quintana, in on the picks, along with Doug Lee and myself (Doc Bear is too smart for this).  The RNG is simply armed with the notion that 57% of the time, the home team is a winner in the NFL.  Quintana picks between two quarters as I drop them to the floor.  Doug Lee uses his lightning-fast brain.

I use Kahlua and a proprietary mathematical formula. If that doesn’t work, I listen to Fox News and MSNBC at the same time until the picks come to me.

This week, I’m introducing another section called Peter King Actually Wrote This.  You’ll see why after the jump.

So how has the RNG done this week?

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Elway got snubbed Lard 10-23-10

Good Morning, Broncos fans! As mentioned yesterday, Champ Bailey, Eddie Royal and Kevin Vickerson are listed as questionable after limited practice, while Robert Ayers, Brian Dawkins, Andre’ Goodman, Darcel McBath and Wesley Woodyard are all out for tomorrow’s game. As for Jokeland, it appears that Jason Campbell will be starting at QB.

As many of you probably know, NFL Network has been counting down its 100 Greatest Players over the past several weeks. Surprisingly, they’ve already gotten to John Elway, whom they placed at #23. He is the only Broncos player on the list, and of course I’m stunned at how low on the list he fell. Personally, I was expecting him to end up somewhere in the #10 to #15 range, but never in my wildest dreams did I foresee Brett Favruh beating him out…

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5 Broncos out Sunday, 3 questionable

Champ Bailey, Eddie Royal and Kevin Vickerson were all limited participants in practice today and are listed as questionable for Sunday’s game versus Jokeland. The same five players who were ruled out last week will also miss Sunday’s game - Robert Ayers, Brian Dawkins, Andre’ Goodman, Darcel McBath and Wesley Woodyard.

Friday Trivia Trough: 1,000-yard rushers

Here’s a topic near and dear to all Broncos fans’ hearts, especially those who’ve been watching since the 1990s. 1,000-yard rushers. They used to grow on a tree behind Mike Shanahan’s 35,000 square foot mansion. Okay, fine - his mansion wasn’t completed until after he was fired. Details. Meh. This quiz would normally be about as simple as a pimple, but I’ve added some mild twists. First, you’ve got to name the 1,000-yard backs one by one, and in reverse chronological order. Plus, you’ll have to type in an answer for each year, even if a player had multiple 1,000-yard seasons.

Unfortunately it’s been awhile (2006), so you’ll need to know who that guy was. I’ll even give you a hint - he always gets a great reception at the Aurora Mall, even though he arrives with a bit of baggage. As always, no peeking or cheating, post your scores in the comments, and good luck! BTW, if you’ve missed our previous quizzes you can always find them here.

Click here for Sporcle quiz:
Can you name the Broncos’ 1,000-yard rushers, in reverse chronological order?

Broncography: LB Kevin Alexander

Kevin Alexander is a man with the odds stacked against him.

Brought into a tough Broncos camp as an undrafted free agent earlier this year, Alexander knows what the oddsmakers against the ‘tweener’ LB from Clemson might say. On the other hand, good things are already starting to happen for the 6’4”, 265 lb former DE/OLB. He was given a chance to take some reps with the first team in OTAs, and although he did not make final cuts, Denver signed him to its practice squad. Following the recent rash of injuries at linebacker, the Broncos on Saturday added Alexander to the 53-man roster, and he dressed for the next day’s game versus the Jets. It doesn’t take much watching to find out why Alexander is being given a second look by the Broncos.

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Royal, Woodyard still out Lard 10-22-10

Happy Friday, Broncos fans! Champ Bailey and Kevin Vickerson returned to practice yesterday in limited fashion. Brandon Lloyd also returned; he had missed practice Wednesday for reasons unrelated to injury. Jamal Williams had his customary Thursday off, while Robert Ayers, Brian Dawkins, Andre’ Goodman, Darcel McBath, Eddie Royal and Wesley Woodyard again missed practice due to injury.

Look for a new Broncography today at 12pm ET and more Trivia Trough at 3pm ET.

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Analysis of a touchdown

In the early minutes of the second quarter Sunday, the Broncos put on a drive that resulted in Tim Tebow’s first NFL touchdown. Appropriately, it was a rushing TD - making for the right corner, and making it easily thanks to two players who weren’t mentioned by the announcers. We love to have fun here at IAOFM, but some of that fun comes from finding the points, plays and players that didn’t get enough praise or recognition and making sure that problem is solved. That being the case, here’s a little bit of info on the Broncos’ first scoring drive.

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The Dude’s Mail Revue (Raiders Edition): The sorority kegger, the busty Raiders & the vertical game

Dude's Mail Revue 400x145

Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer your question—after bowling practice.

TJ, give it up, man.  I know you’re Mail Revue is fake.  How many stupid personalitys do you have in their, huh? Me and my friends, we’ve decided that we will pretty much deck you if you ever show you’re face in the Black Hole, baby.  Oakland Raiders are forever. Al Davis is more tougher at his advanced age than anyone in the Broncos pitiful organization.  What is the matter, huh?  No more JaMarcus Russell jokes to tell?  What are you gonna do now, dude?  I’ll tell you what, you our going to fall down on the ground in the fetail position and cry like a little girl. Raider Nation Rulz!
—Kirk Jacobs, San Leandro, California

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Practice squad filled Lard 10-21-10

Good Morning, Broncos fans! Eight players were held out of practice due to injury yesterday, and unfortunately they’re all pretty big names for Denver. The five players who were out last week (Ayers, Dawkins, Goodman, McBath, Woodyard) did not practice, no word on whether the latter three might play this week. Also missing practice were Champ Bailey, Eddie Royal, Kevin Vickerson, and Brandon Lloyd, who is not injured. At least Knowshon’s not on the list - sure would be nice to see him return to full health for the remainder of the season…

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How do you quicky replace 35-50 players? Part II

Note: This is the second of a two-part article, the first of which appeared yesterday.

Roulette Wheel II, the Sequel: Waivers
You can also find players like the new stealth offensive lineman (no one seems to have heard of him), Chris Clark, in the waivers system. According to the Broncos’ website:

Clark is a first-year player who spent the 2008 and 2009 seasons on Minnesota’s practice squad after competing in training camp with Tampa Bay in 2008… Earned All-Conference USA recognition as a senior at Southern Mississippi… Awarded to the Broncos via wavers from the Vikings on Sept. 5, 2010.

Waivers can hurt or help you - Denver lost safety Josh Barrett earlier this year, although they expected him to clear waivers and reach IR before stepping back in on STs next season and perhaps to develop his skill at covering tight ends. Bill Belichick managed to slide in his vote, and Barrett was a Patriot. Denver almost immediately picked up Kevin Vickerson - if you don’t have that big safety (although Bruton may make that jump), you’d better get a good rush on the QB.

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