Rockin' around the Christmas tree, at the Christmas party slop.
I love the myth of the free market and the bootstrapping entrepreneur. Without it, our business schools wouldn't continue to surge with wide-eyed future (and underemployed) alumni donors. I also love it because the narrative is so simple. It's black and white, really--I did everything, all by myself. Despite the lessons from behavioral economics and history, the narrative's insistence on oversimplifying complex issues into laissez-faire dogma provides for some great comedic context.
Enter the humor of Bills owner Ralph Wilson. In 2011, Wilson gave an interview in which he gave this tidy little homespun answer to a question about how much he profits from his ownership of the Buffalo Bills:
I came into this game 50 years ago because I enjoyed the game of pro football. Not to make money. In those days, everybody was hoping to break even. We lost money for a number of years. I am really not into the game to make money, but I would like to break even or make a little.
Here they come at a furious pace--a wave of Tebow-related articles that all basically say the same thing:
Rex Ryan finally decided to bench Mark Sanchez, but he won't let Tim Tebow start.
Mike Freeman is hearing that the Ultimate Teammate™ feels like he was lied to. Jeff Darlington thinks Tebow will ask out of New York (very un-team) and compares the situation to when Tebow was in high school and decided to switch schools so someone would let him play quarterback instead of linebacker.
Well, well, well. Look what we have here.
It's 10pm here in Denver. The Broncos haven't played a down in almost eight hours, yet they find themselves--if the playoffs were to start today--with a first-round bye.
Win the next two games, Broncos fans, and it's a reality.
Awesomeness happens. And it's not even Christmas yet.
Somewhere, right now, Peyton Manning is smiling. He once said he was going to make his decision to come to Denver the right one.
Thanks to Jim "Jack Frost" Harbaugh going balls out against Bill "Old Man Winter" Belichick, Manning's decision is looking better and better.
I believe it was scholar Michael Gerard Tyson who once said: "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face."
The Ravens had a plan. That plan probably included a healthy dose of Ray Rice.
Then they found themselves bloodied to the tune of 17-0. The plan shifted to the arm of Joe Flacco. And we all know that's no plan at all.
Somehow the Ravens confused this year's Broncos with Denver teams of the past. It began with a push of Eric Decker by Cary Williams and didn't stop until Decker beat Williams like he was Gerry Cooney. The rest of the Ravens were pushed all over the yard and buried.
The Ravens are no longer the physical bullies they believe they are. After most of the plays in the first half, the Ravens were pushing and shoving like it was the year 2000--you know, when Ray Lewis might really murder you.
Raise your hand if you thought the Broncos were in danger with a halftime lead of only six points.
That's exactly two hands, including John Madden's.
I guess pirates just aren't that frightening anymore--if they ever were in Oakland.
Either that, or this Broncos team is that good. Even when they play sloppy and sluggish in the red zone, they adjust. A one-score game quickly turnes into a three-score game.
By the fourth quarter, the Broncos' opponents might as well put on their pirate shirts.
As least then, the attire would keep it interesting.
They say you should never kick a man when
he's down he's deactivated due to a rib injury.
"When Tim was here we saw the issues up close," said the Broncos player who, along with other players, asked not to be identified. "The Jets didn't, and now they are seeing the problems, too."
"Of course we're comparing this year to last year," said another player. "This year we won the division with four games left. That's all Peyton Manning. If Tebow was here, we'd still be squeaking out wins, or losing games we shouldn't be losing. The division would be coming down to the last game.
"I've been following Tim in New York and I feel horrible for him. Everyone here, I think, wants the best for him. He's a good guy. But you can't turn Tim into something he's not, and he's not really an NFL quarterback. He's more of a gimmick player."
Last year it took the Broncos until Week 17 to win the division.
What a bunch of drama queens.
This year, the Broncos clinched the division so fast, there was still time to hit the links.
Okay, how about a seven-game winning streak?
Kansas City ain't what it used to be.
Arrowhead Stadium used to rival the Circus Maximus. Now it simply reeks.
The smell? The stench of Scott Pioli and Romeo Crennel.
Sure, the Broncos struggled throughout most of the game. And earlier in the week, Peyton Manning put on a straight face and said the Chiefs were a tough out. At one point, he even said, "They've got a lot of good players."
As it turns out, Manning was right, but not correct enough for the Broncos to actually lose to a bad team.
You see, good means very little when you're 1-10, without a solution at quarterback, and you're coaching not to lose.
In fact, 1-10 just stinks. Here in Denver, we don't mind. We'll just plug our noses.
The Broncos got the AFC West in a strangehold, baby.
You best get outta the way.
The Broncos took care of business. They handled the San Diego Chargers (don't let the final score fool you). They now own a three-game lead. And finally, they've taken two straight from Norv's kids.
A.J. Smith's head may, in fact, now be two sizes smaller.
Now it's on to the rest of the AFC.
Two wrongs do make a right--at least for John Fox, Von Miller, and Peyton Manning.
Jerry Richardson--the tea-guzzling, pacemaking, and fiery owner of the Carolina Panthers--didn't renew John Fox's contract in 2011. He also drafted Cam Newton instead of Von Miller. Finally, he insulted Peyton Manning during the lockout.
That's a lot of bad things in the span of two years.
Today, Richardson got what was coming to him--to the tune of a 36-14 beatdown.
His ego should be sore in the morning.
And John Fox, Von Miller, and Peyton Manning should feel even better about the win.