Sorry, folks. I almost forgot this week's limerick. Here you go:
I've got nothing to say with my wit
except that the Titans will quit
by the third quarter's end
when records will bend
and Munchak will drown in his $hit.
Let it fly, Broncos fans!
Wait, don’t the Chiefs win games like this at home?
Turning turnovers into touchdowns, taking kickoffs back for touchdowns, breaking off big runs—these are the things that define the Chiefs.
It doesn’t matter, not when Peyton Manning comes to town, even when Manning breaks bad for a quarter. Manning’s mind is just too good. His arm (no matter how wobbly the passes) simply follows.
The Broncos now stand in sole possession of first place in the AFC West; even better, they are in complete control of their own destiny. If they want the first seed, they can do more than wish for it for Christmas.
Good morning, Broncos fans! Another big game. Another Chiefs loss:
The rematch was just two weeks away
for the ketchup and mustard to play.
The results are the same
with their conservative game,
and the loss of Reid's balls in the fray.
Let loose with your version--with or without balls.
From his upper-class perch, Jim Saccomano wants Broncos fans who aren't season ticket holders to know just how much pain he's in this morning:
Hard for those who are not with team or are season tix holders who never miss a game to fully comprehend the personal sting of loss...— Jim Saccomano (@broncos_sacco) November 25, 2013
Welcome to my sixth rewrite in the last twenty minutes.
This was supposed to be a story about Petyon Manning and Tom Brady dueling; it was supposed to be about two teams playing until the bitter end; hell, it was supposed to be about the near perfection of the Broncos running game.
Instead, we’re going to be talking about bouncing balls for a whole damn week.
Actually, I should probably be more specific. Wes Welker didn’t give Tony Carter enough time to clear a bouncing punt, which now makes Tony Carter look really dumb.
What a letdown, and what a silly way to lose a game. There’s just no rewriting that.
Happy Game Day, Broncos fans. Time again to break out something completely obscene:
If you're pondering Belichick's class
then you ought to consider a pass
on the shaking of hands
when he's losing the fans
and the score is shoved up his ass.
Sorry, I tried, but I just couldn't get McDaniels to rhyme with tiny Napoleon. See if you can.
It’s simple: keep Peyton Manning clean, the Broncos win.
It’s true when he’s healthy. It’s true when he’s feeling a little average. And it’s true when his ankle is as hurt as an Alex Smith checkdown.
The Broncos just restored order to the NFL with their 27-17 win, which could have been a lot more lopsided. The NFL simply can’t have teams like the Chiefs masquerading around like a legitimate Super Bowl contender.
If Alexis Smith was a man with some balls
he would stop with the junk checkdown calls,
but he's not, so he sucks,
so it goes that his ducks
force the Chiefs to puke in the stalls.
It's getting close to game time. Throw your limerick down, Broncos fans!
Pat Bowlen, welcome to the Three Hundred Club.
With the Broncos' 28-20 win this afternoon, Bowlen became the second fastest owner in NFL history to reach three hundred wins (Al Davis had to beat Bowlen at something).
The dude has seen a lot in his three decades as owner—John Elway, Peyton Manning, Super Bowls, and everything in between.
Three hundred wins has to rank right up there—until he gets to 301.
One of our long-time readers, Alaskan, reminded me that I have a responsibility--nay, a duty--to post the most obscene gameday limericks possible.
It's a tradition we started long ago here at IAOFM; it's high time I held up my end of the bargain: