Sometimes you wake up and you go through the motions; other times, you feel a Limerick coming on.
Last week's topic was Elvis Dumervil. After reading the story on Mitch Unrein this morning, I thought I'd better give him some space:
Unrein on the line is unreal,
and larger this year--sex appeal.
Wyoming Monet,
he brings it each day,
from practice squad to tungsten steel.
Let it breathe. Then try your own in the comment section. The worst thing that can happen is laughter.
SDUT UTSD columnist Don Norcross thinks Denver's schedule will be too much for the Broncos to handle, even with Peyton Manning at the helm:
But at 36, Manning hasn’t played in more than a year. He’s adjusting to a new coaching staff, new teammates. Word from the Rockies is that’s he’s still not throwing with full velocity. Gotta be a rust factor there. And check out the Broncos’ schedule. It’s brutal. Road games include Falcons, Patriots and Ravens. Me, I think the Chargers’ toughest rival in the AFC West will be the Kansas City Chiefs. With RB Jamaal Charles, S Eric Berry and TE Tony Moeaki back after missing virtually all of 2011 with injuries, the Chiefs essentially get three first additional round draft picks this season. KC will be a tough out. Tougher than Denver.
Norcross might be right. On paper, Kansas City can make the case they're the toughest team in the AFC West.
Continue reading "Debunking the strength of schedule myth yet again"
Last week's topic was D.J. "That piss ain't human" Williams. This week Elvis Dumervil earned himself the honor:
If Elvis did lift up his shirt
intending some bodily hurt
A ban he will get.
They cannot acquit.
The Broncos and Sacco: inert.
Now give your own Limerick go. It's not as fun as driving a Land Rover, but it's certainly cheaper.
I'm not an attorney¹, and we obviously don't know the circumstances here, but this case appears to have the potential to be very tricky for the Miami police and State's Attorney's office. Typically, when some black guy is involved in an altercation, the cops will throw him in jail, and the prosecutor will overcharge the case.
What I mean by that is for someone like me - as a middle-class white guy who can afford a competent attorney - the charge might be disorderly conduct from the start, I pay a little fine and take anger management, and the misdemeanor falls off my record.
Last week's topic was Roger Goodell. This week, Broncos linebacker D.J. Williams gets his turn, for obvious reasons.
In the bottle D.J. did piss,
but twice there was something amiss.
Non-human they said,
so he hit the head
and the third the Greek could assist.
Let it rip with your own in the comment section. And to see all the Limericks for all weeks, click here. We expect to hear from Pushcart any week now.
Last week's topic was Demaryius Thomas. This week's topic is Roger Goodell.
With Roger Goodell at the head
there's always a reason to dread
the fine and appeal
that seems so surreal
since he fellates himself instead.
Now, take your own shot. Just remember to wear your jockstrap--tight. We don't want to see you hurt yourself playing with meter.
You can stop emailing me. Back by popular demand, it's peanut butter jelly time--otherwise known as IAOFM's Weekly Limerick Schtick. This week's topic? Demaryius Thomas' route tree:
Demaryius Thomas so free
did not run the routes from the tree.
But the Teebs is gone,
replaced by The Don
of quarterbacks John could decree.
Take your own shot--if you've got something clever and can remember the finer arts of anapest meter. Or you may be drunk. In that case, just try and rhyme without passing out.
As you've probably heard by now, the great science fiction writer Ray Bradbury passed away today at the age of 91. Since I (mostly) stay on topics that have some relation to football or a football-related event, I won't rehash the greatness of Bradbury here. What I will do, however, is pass along a quote from Bradbury that you'll find useful in your own life:
The Muse must have shape. You will write a thousand words a day for ten to twenty years in order to try to give it shape, to learn enough about grammar and story construction so that these become part of the Subconscious, without restraining or distorting the Muse.
This quote comes from the book Zen and The Art of Writing.
Today, Greg Cosell decided to drop some wisdom on the masses. He writes:
I remember Peyton Manning talking about the winning touchdown drive in the AFC Championship Game against the Patriots back in 2007 when we interviewed him for our “America’s Game” series...he went on to add that if Brady had followed with a Patriots touchdown in the final 54 seconds, no one would have remembered the Colts drive, as special as it was in Manning’s mind. His outstanding play would have been viewed through the prism of “he’s not a winner.” His performance would not have been any different. Again, perception without context and understanding.In 2011, one quarterback in particular fostered blind obedience by many observers to the phrase “he’s winner” without much thought as to why it was being said. Tim Tebow won seven of his first eight starts, a number of them in spectacular fashion with late-game heroics...Then came four losses in his last five games, during which Tebow, with the exception of the playoff win against Pittsburgh, played about as poorly as an NFL quarterback can play...So the question must be asked: Was Tebow a “winner” in some games, but not others? Did he not practice “winning” in the weeks leading up to those four losses?Let’s not focus on the specific quarterbacks I used as examples. If you do that, you are totally missing the point. My broader objective is to compel a re-thinking of the “winner” concept. When you drill down deeper, it’s really a term that has almost no meaning.
Klis writes:
The Broncos finished the 2011 season ranked No. 1 in rushing and 70 percent credit goes to quarterback Tim Tebow. I’ll give 10 percent to John Fox and Mike McCoy for coming up with the read-option offense that best suited Tebow’s skills; 10 percent to an improved run-blocking offensive line with run-mauler Orlando Franklin at right tackle; and 10 percent to tailback Willis McGahee.
But the stats say Tebow was by far the biggest factor in the Broncos’ running success. In 2010, the Broncos ranked 26th in rushing with 96.5 yards per game. In the first four games of 2011 in which Tebow didn’t play quarterback, the Broncos ranked near the bottom of the league with an average of 86.8 yards per...
...One of the most overrated notions in the NFL is the pass sets up the run. Look back at the top rushing teams each year. They’re all run-oriented teams with decent, not great passers. Michael Vick’s Atlanta Falcons led the NFL in rushing in 2004, 2005, 2006.
