Mark it Zero

Game Day Limerick: Houston Texans

Let the records hit the floor, Broncos fans:

Manning is three touddowns shy of Tom

killing the league like a Tebow psalm.

It's the Texans' turn

to embrace the burn

of his fire like an atom bomb.

Give it your best.

Gut Reaction: Week 15 - Broncos vs Chargers

It’s no secret why the Broncos lost tonight.

The Chargers converted half of their third downs.

The Broncos converted only a whisper of two.

It’s really that simple. You can take the time of possession, the big plays, the stupid penalties—all of it pales in comparison to the fundamental fact that you can’t string a drive together without converting on third downs. Of course, the converse is also true. You can’t stop a drive without stopping your opponent on third down.

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Game Day Limerick: San Diego Chargers Part Dos

Sometimes you just have to be direct and to the point:

If you turn around and you claim

that the Broncos must play in a game

now twice in five days

then you'd want no delays

in maiming Phil Rivers to shame.

Not quite obscene, but it gets the job done.

Gut Reaction: Week 14 - Broncos vs Titans

Peyton Manning can’t throw in cold weather—unless he can.

That’s the narrative now. Although the temperature hovered around a frigid five degrees for most of the game, the Broncos offense—and Manning in particular—created a blaze so hot, the Titans needed treatment for third-degree burns.

Make no mistake: the Broncos had two plans in this game. The first was to win the game, which they did handily, 51-28. The second was to send a message to the rest of the league: Peyton Manning can not only play in cold weather, he can torch you.

If you’re coming into Denver late in the year, you'd better believe in Santa Claus. That’s because Peyton Manning is Jack Frost. 

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Game Day Limerick: Tennessee Titans

Sorry, folks. I almost forgot this week's limerick. Here you go:

I've got nothing to say with my wit

except that the Titans will quit

by the third quarter's end

when records will bend

and Munchak will drown in his $hit.

Let it fly, Broncos fans!

Gut Reaction: Week 13 - Broncos @ Chiefs

Wait, don’t the Chiefs win games like this at home?

Turning turnovers into touchdowns, taking kickoffs back for touchdowns, breaking off big runs—these are the things that define the Chiefs.

It doesn’t matter, not when Peyton Manning comes to town, even when Manning breaks bad for a quarter. Manning’s mind is just too good. His arm (no matter how wobbly the passes) simply follows.

The Broncos now stand in sole possession of first place in the AFC West; even better, they are in complete control of their own destiny. If they want the first seed, they can do more than wish for it for Christmas.

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Game Day Limerick: Kansas City Chiefs, Part Dos

Good morning, Broncos fans! Another big game. Another Chiefs loss:

The rematch was just two weeks away

for the ketchup and mustard to play.

     The results are the same

     with their conservative game,

and the loss of Reid's balls in the fray.

Let loose with your version--with or without balls.

Saccomano blows fans away with asshattery

From his upper-class perch, Jim Saccomano wants Broncos fans who aren't season ticket holders to know just how much pain he's in this morning:

Hard for those who are not with team or are season tix holders who never miss a game to fully comprehend the personal sting of loss...

— Jim Saccomano (@broncos_sacco) November 25, 2013

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Gut Reaction: Week 12 - Broncos @ Patriots

Welcome to my sixth rewrite in the last twenty minutes.

This was supposed to be a story about Petyon Manning and Tom Brady dueling; it was supposed to be about two teams playing until the bitter end; hell, it was supposed to be about the near perfection of the Broncos running game.

Instead, we’re going to be talking about bouncing balls for a whole damn week.

Actually, I should probably be more specific. Wes Welker didn’t give Tony Carter enough time to clear a bouncing punt, which now makes Tony Carter look really dumb. 

What a letdown, and what a silly way to lose a game.  There’s just no rewriting that.

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Game Day Limerick: New England Patriots

Happy Game Day, Broncos fans. Time again to break out something completely obscene:

If you're pondering Belichick's class

then you ought to consider a pass

on the shaking of hands

when he's losing the fans  

and the score is shoved up his ass.

Sorry, I tried, but I just couldn't get McDaniels to rhyme with tiny Napoleon.  See if you can.