Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Raider's camp. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the eye's of Tom Cable.
These are the things I learned...
I've read that it's hard to know who got better end of the deal in the Champ Bailey - Clinton Portis trade.
If you reside in Oakland and your friends know you as Raider (insert your first name here), it might indeed appear that you can't really know if the Broncos got the better end of this trade. Of course, if you live in Oakland, it's possible that you are struggling to complete the 8th grade.
The truth is that one can measure almost anything, if one establishes up front what is to be measured.
Friends, Romans, Broncomaniacs, lend me your tears.
Now, shut up and stop crying. There’s no crying in football.
So Kyle Orton threw three picks. So what? If you want to dump your Orton jersey now, send them all to me. I’ll send them as Christmas gifts to all the Chicago fans that will be wishing they still had some love from the neckbeard come December.
Ask Kyle Orton to shave if you’d like, but, please, stop booing him.
There’s really no good reason for this kind of Raider behavior. You don’t live in Oakland after all, so don’t trash your QB, wander the streets drunk with firearms, and dress up like a Halloween drag queen on Sundays, all while saying, "I’m just a passionate fan."
Remember, Bronco fans are smarter (and more literate) than this. And they watch game tape.
I hear Tyler Durden is going to pay a little visit to the boys in orange and blue next week to set some ground rules for training camp.
Tyler Durden 8 rules for Bronco's Training Camp:
Bronco Fans, training camp is next week. It's time to face the cold hard facts.
Your Denver Broncos are now the worst team in the NFL. It ain't even close. In 2009, you ought to prepare yourself for imminent doom (and I don't mean Dumervil).
How can I make such a claim? After all, the Broncos do reside in a division home to California's 10th best football team (USC, 49ers, UCLA, Cal, Fresno State, San Diego State, and a handful of junior colleges best the Raiders). And the Chiefs scalped themselves when they shipped Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta (welcome to KC, Matt Cassel!). Even media darling San Diego (Chris Berman's wet dream in powder blue) seems to change character more often than Dr. Jeykll on a potion binge.
So the Broncos can't be the worst. No way. Not possible.
I bowl. I drive around. Occasionally an acid flashback. Also, it seems, I can't stop thinking about field position. After first posting on the subject here, and then subsequently here, I wanted to explore a little further the 2008 Broncos season, and what I consider to the be Cerberus of wins and losses in the NFL.
Cerberus? What the hell is this? For those of you that never had to suffer through Latin (Spanish that semester was full, hombre) or were too stoned to care, Cerberus was the three headed monster that guarded the entrance to the underworld in Greek and Roman mythology. And when it comes to guarding the gates of hell, three heads are better than one.
In a previous post, I wrote about the important of drafting to improve special teams and field position. So until the Kahlua runs dry, I'm going to continue to beat this drum.
The Dude wasn't so good in school, but it's time for a history lesson, man. And yeah, that's right. Certain things have come to light.
Simply put, I wanted to look at the Denver's win/loss record since 1998 and see if there was a correlation to wins/losses and field position differential. In other words, does field position matter? This is a question that I return to again and again. And admittedly, I have a huge biased towards thinking that it matters...with a vengeance.
The results were enlightening, although not surprising to the Dude. We begin with 1998, Elway's last season, when it really was in fashion to drink Orange and Predominately Blue Kool-Aid.
I don't drink Kool-Aid. But recent things have come to light, man.
First, I could care less about flashy draft picks or whether or not Denver's draft grades are high or low. Steve Young can have his opinion (totally biased). Jamie Dukes can have his (totally ignorant). And Kiper can have his (with a little hairspray for good measure). Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
But acting as if this draft was without direction is both rash and without merit. This, I mind. The Dude minds. This will not stand, you know, this aggression will not stand, man.