Mark it Zero

And so it begins….

Kaptain Kirk, Brian Shrout, Lebowski and the Bear were kicking around the last of the year's gamebooks and talking about the changes that have already begun for this off-season's personnel changes and the shakeup of the Denver Broncos. It looks like the housecleaning has begun early, and the Broncos are off to a quick start to the offseason, before the mathematical possibility of the playoffs is even fully past. Something has happened that has set off a quick change reaction that may bring some order to the Broncos.

Having Marshall sit out of a game (possibly for injury, which would be no big thing) and Scheffler essentially be handed his conditional walking papers - they'll find a way to make him valuable to them in trade, but he's done as a Bronco - was quite the beginning to the New Year. Welcome to the turn of the decade, my friends. Apparently, one current set of myths is that we only have until 2012 before the earth disintegrates. I'd like to win the Lombardi before that happens...and for that to happen, there have to be a lot of changes. That being the case, it's in our best interest to make a few good ones while there's time. It's too early to tell if these two are good ones or not. 

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Week 17 Suspect: The Kansas City Chiefs

This week, as I was building my statistical "profile" of this week's opponent, I thought I would team up with MHR's own Steve Nichols (hoosierteacher), in order to create a more official case file of Denver's next suspect: The Kansas City Chiefs.

Hopefully, by studying what others (including our own Denver Broncos) have done to the Chiefs, we will get a better understanding of what the Broncos are likely going to do on Sunday to get the win.

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The Dude Abides: The Stats That Don’t Lie, Week 16

"Are you here to tell me what a bad statoogoolizer I am?"

--Derek Zoolander

In the NFL, I'm pretty sure there's more to life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking.  Week 16 proved this if nothing else.   Two teams were caught staring at their reflections for too long (New Orleans and Minnesota). Another team was tragically lost to the playoffs in a freak-gasoline-fight accident (Giants).    And the Oakland Raiders were back to normal, showing us all why they are still reserving spots in the Derek Zoolander Center-For-Kids-Who-Can't-Read-Good-And-Wanna-Learn-To-Do-Other-Stuff-Good-Too.  In other words, don't expect any playoff help from the Silver-and-Black next week.

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The Dude Abides: It’s limerick time - Chiefs, Round 2

Divisional opponents inspire hate.  And mockery.  So let round two of the Chiefs' Limericks begin!   

Here are five that I created.  Please feel free to make up your own.   It's the last game of the year, so if you've got something to take out on the Broncos, do it.  And Chiefs fans, please participate if you're still not busy counting how many 3rd downs you haven't converted. 

In all seriousness, Chiefs fans, you are some of the coolest cats rolling, so I know we will have a good time, once again.

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A Christmas Story: Beating the Philadelphia Eagles

I triple-dog dare ya to beat the Philadelphia Eagles!

Like putting your tongue to a flagpole in winter, beating the Philadelphia Eagles could get real sticky indeed.

But it's feasible.   And if it happens--barring a meltdown against the Chiefs--Denver will be staring its first playoff berth in the face since 2005, when another quarterback with a penchant for neck beards (and handball) took the Broncos all the way to the AFC Championship Game.

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The Dude Abides: The Stats That Don’t Lie, Week 15

"You stats shouldn't play so rough. Somebody's gonna start crying."

--Mr. Blonde

Some teams bark all day, little doggy.  And some teams bite.  

Week 15 was supposed to be an easy caper for the playoff-bound teams in the NFL.  Minnesota, New Orleans, Philadelphia, and Indianapolis were all looking to get in, do their job, and get out--unscathed and without too much gun play. Only two of these teams (Philly and Indy) actually escaped with a win.

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How to cope with a loss to the Raiders: Plato, Bruce Lee, & Bon Jovi

It's times like these that drive Broncos fans to drink.

And to Plato.  And Bruce Lee.   And Bon Jovi. 

One had a penchant for philosophy.  Another for martial arts.  And the last for hairspray.

But what do the three of these guys have in common?

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The Dude Abides: The Stats That Don’t Lie, Week 14

"What did you say, Stats Champion? I'll beat you like a dog, a dog, you fool!" --Clubber Lang

I pity the fool that believes in league parity.  

Let's be honest.  Outside of a few games, Week 14 was a complete bore.   The winning teams won by an average of 15 points.  While the storyline of the two undefeated teams continued to be compelling, most of the games were as forgettable as a JaMarcus Russell seam pass or a Jay Cutler trip to the red zone.  Roger Goodell should have donated some of his TV revenues back to charity.  At least fans would have felt better about the six hours of their lives they won't be getting back. 

However, we did learn something about the Denver Broncos.  They stand more than a puncher's chance in the playoffs.  

Welcome to another round of The Stats That Don't Lie, your statistical Mister T.  These are the stats that hit below the belt. They are the stats that never have to go to the judges.   In short, they beat you like a dog, fool.  As always they are Turnovers, Field Position, Time of Possession, and 3rd-Down Efficiency. 

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The Dude Abides: It’s limerick time - Jokeland Raiders, Round 2

Divisional opponents inspire hate.  And mockery.  So let round two of the Raiders' Limericks begin!.  

Here are five that I created.  Please feel free to make up your own.   And Raiders' fans, please participate if you've passed the 8th grade or aren't currently wearing an orange jacket and carrying a garbage sack.

At the end of the season, I'll do a post with the top-10 limericks from all the division opponents to vote on, so please rec the limericks that you like the most.

These five should help you get the hang of it (if you have an extra syllable or two here or there, who cares):

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The big deferral - why Josh McDaniels is still smarter than you

Yesterday, Josh McDaniels made one of his most interesting coaching decisions before the bodies even began hitting the turf of Lucas Oil Stadium.

He deferred the kickoff.

Although this decision is not controversial at the college level (Urban Meyer and many other coaches always defer), apparently it causes quite a stir when done by an NFL head coach.  As Mike Klis wrote today in the Denver Post:

The officials gathered the respective captains for a coin toss to see who would get the ball first. The Broncos called heads. It came up heads. What a break. The great Manning would have to wait . . .

What's that? McDaniels deferred. McDaniels' research had shown that the team that kicks off at the start usually has the final possession of the first half, and then gets the ball again to start the second half.

Score at the end of one half, score at the beginning of the next. Double-up the points while Manning waits on his sideline.

But even at its best, such decision would have to be considered counterintuitive.

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