Mark it Zero
The Dude’s Mail Revue: Ankle bracelets, Atwater’s greatest hits, and the Halloween frights
Fat Man blogger TJ "The Dude" Johnson posts The Dude's Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude's G-String and he might answer your question--after bowling practice.
Hahahahaha, TJ. Last weekend was the greatest single weekend of my life. They removed my electronic ankle bracelet on Saturday, and then on Sunday, my Raiders lit up the Donks for 59 points. Me and my girl just ate so much pizza we let our guts hang out and didn't leave the couch. Who'd want to? You could go another 50 years and not see that again. The Broncos will never live that loss down. You guys are lucky Tom Cable held back in the 4th quarter or we would have been talking the all-time record. Do me a favor and tell us how good we look from the bottom of the division after we catch the Chiefs in a few weeks. See you later, sucker! --Raider Mike, Oak-Town, California
The Dude’s Mail Revue (Raiders Edition): The sorority kegger, the busty Raiders & the vertical game
Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer your question—after bowling practice.
TJ, give it up, man. I know you’re Mail Revue is fake. How many stupid personalitys do you have in their, huh? Me and my friends, we’ve decided that we will pretty much deck you if you ever show you’re face in the Black Hole, baby. Oakland Raiders are forever. Al Davis is more tougher at his advanced age than anyone in the Broncos pitiful organization. What is the matter, huh? No more JaMarcus Russell jokes to tell? What are you gonna do now, dude? I’ll tell you what, you our going to fall down on the ground in the fetail position and cry like a little girl. Raider Nation Rulz!
—Kirk Jacobs, San Leandro, California
The Dude’s Mail Revue: The Schedule, the blowhard, and the top 5 Broncos from the 80s
Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer your question—after bowling practice.
TJ, we’ve only played 5 games of a 16-game schedule. I don’t know why everyone is getting so carried away. So we’ve lost to the Colts, the Ravens, and the Jaguars. The record of these three opponents is 10-5. If we can get the Jets this weekend, we’ll be sitting at 3-3 with all of our division games remaining. I could see us going 5-1 in the division easily. That’s 8-4. And then all we have is Houston, Arizona, San Francisco, and Saint Louis. We could win at least two of these games. That puts us at 10-6 and into the playoffs! This is going to happen.
—Juan Ebna, Beaver, Utah
The Dude’s Mail Revue: The redneck, the Champ, and the slasher flick
Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer your question—after bowling practice.
Duderino, I’m not the first person to point out that a certain 250-lb. running back is shredding defenses in Cleveland, Ohio. We had that kind of talent in our backfield and we wasted it! Why? Does Josh McDaniels not know talent when he sees it? And all we got in return was a tee-shirt and Brady Quinn. I’m with that guy from the Denver Post (I can’t remember his name, but I know he’s not Woody Paige) who said that McDaniels really got it wrong by letting Peyton Hillis go. Really really wrong!
—Don, Bay Village, Ohio
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The Dude’s Mail Revue: The blame, the package and The Matrix
Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer your question—after bowling practice.
TJ, our rushing attack is disgusting so far. I wanted to just close my eyes last week against the Colts as I watched them try to run the ball into the end zone three times from the 1-yard line. We couldn’t even get 1 yard on the worst rushing defense in the league. What gives? I thought we were supposed to have a beefier and better offensive line this year. I thought we were supposed to be tougher and angle block instead of zone block.
And what’s their excuse going to be now that they don’t have Weigmann and Hamilton to kick around any more? Are we going to start blaming the running backs?
—Ben, Seattle, Washington
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The Dude’s Mail Revue: Laughter as medicine
Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer your question—after bowling practice.
TJ, after the passing of Kenny McKinley, are you still planning on coming out this week with a Mail Revue? With your sense of humor, it would be good medicine for all Broncos fans to see it.
—George, Lakewood, Colorado
George: I’m glad you sent in your question. We debated whether to do a Mail Revue this week, but after a few days of consideration, we decided in favor of it, figuring that Broncos fans would enjoy some humor during a tough week. So I’m giving it my best. Here goes.
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The Dude’s Mail Revue: One hunky mailbag
Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer your question—after bowling practice.
TJ, I’m glad to see you back answering questions about the Broncos! Where have you been all summer? I’ve been carrying this question for a few weeks. Now tell me - Brady Quinn has the looks that kill, but do you think he’ll be with the Broncos next year after his mediocre preseason?
—Linda, South Bend, Indiana
The Dude’s Mail Sack: Eddie Royal, Gerald Willhite, & AJ Smith’s gigantic head
Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer it—after bowling practice.
Continue reading "The Dude’s Mail Sack: Eddie Royal, Gerald Willhite, & AJ Smith’s gigantic head"
Shout (Out) At The Devil - Thank you, San Diego Chargers!
One should rarely heap praise upon division rivals. While it might seem like a technically sound thing to do, it simply leaves you feeling a little dirty inside and you fall asleep at night knowing you've probably put bad karma into the world.
But there's always an exception.
So today, it's time to salute the San Diego Chargers.
The road to the AFC West title just got easier, and not because Elvis Dumervil signed his 1-year tender.
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The Dude’s Mail Sack: Orton, Quinn, Tebow, and…Britny Fox!
Fat Man blogger TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions about the state of the Denver Broncos. Got a titillating question? Put a dollar bill into the Dude’s G-String and he might answer it—after bowling practice.
TJ, it is with great sadness that I write to you to tell you that I did not make the Broncos Cheerleading squad for 2010. Things were going great until I suddenly pulled my hamstring during my routine as I was rocking to Bad Romance from Lady Gaga. I tried to gut through it. I tried to imagine I was Kyle Orton, playing through the pain. But finally, it was too much. I knew I was done-for when they asked me if I'd rather dance to Katy Perry.
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