Limericks

Super Bowl 48 Limerick

Welcome to the Super Bowl, Denver. Today's limerick is a little different. That's because it's hard to be obscene when you're so damn giddy. So I went the inspirational route:

Who will put on this game their stamp

to complete the Broncos revamp?

Who will bring to this town

the Lombardi crown

so Pat can say THIS one's for Champ?

For one last time, this season: GO BRONCOS!

Playoff Limerick: New England Patriots

On the biggest game of the year, I couldn't help but state the obvious:

It's been fifteen years since we've seen

the AFC champs--that's obscene.

It ends on this day

with the Broncos' big play

and Tom Brady is missing his spleen.

Go Broncos!

Playoff Limerick: San Diego Chargers

Well, it's finally here, Broncos fans--the day the Broncos purge their demons. Who better than Phil Rivers to bully?

There’s revenge in the air on this day,

and the Charger’s aren’t getting away.

So bring on Phil Rivers

who never delivers

when he’s on his ass on each play.

Now, take your best shot. It's ass kickin' time.

Game Day Limerick: Oakland Raiders, Part Dos

It's never fun to kick a team when they're down, unless, of course, that team happens to be the Oakland Raiders:

It's the Raiders again in last place,

the silver and black a disgrace.

There are more high-draft picks

 for this team turning tricks 

on the streets of the AFC race.

I was uncomfortable comparing the Oakland Raiders with prostitutes for about--let's say two or three seconds. I qiuckly got over it. Now it's your turn, Broncos fans.

Game Day Limerick: Houston Texans

Let the records hit the floor, Broncos fans:

Manning is three touddowns shy of Tom

killing the league like a Tebow psalm.

It's the Texans' turn

to embrace the burn

of his fire like an atom bomb.

Give it your best.

Game Day Limerick: San Diego Chargers Part Dos

Sometimes you just have to be direct and to the point:

If you turn around and you claim

that the Broncos must play in a game

now twice in five days

then you'd want no delays

in maiming Phil Rivers to shame.

Not quite obscene, but it gets the job done.

Game Day Limerick: Tennessee Titans

Sorry, folks. I almost forgot this week's limerick. Here you go:

I've got nothing to say with my wit

except that the Titans will quit

by the third quarter's end

when records will bend

and Munchak will drown in his $hit.

Let it fly, Broncos fans!

Game Day Limerick: Kansas City Chiefs, Part Dos

Good morning, Broncos fans! Another big game. Another Chiefs loss:

The rematch was just two weeks away

for the ketchup and mustard to play.

     The results are the same

     with their conservative game,

and the loss of Reid's balls in the fray.

Let loose with your version--with or without balls.

Game Day Limerick: New England Patriots

Happy Game Day, Broncos fans. Time again to break out something completely obscene:

If you're pondering Belichick's class

then you ought to consider a pass

on the shaking of hands

when he's losing the fans  

and the score is shoved up his ass.

Sorry, I tried, but I just couldn't get McDaniels to rhyme with tiny Napoleon.  See if you can.

Game Day Limerick: Kansas City Chiefs

If Alexis Smith was a man with some balls

he would stop with the junk checkdown calls,

but he's not, so he sucks,

so it goes that his ducks

force the Chiefs to puke in the stalls.

It's getting close to game time. Throw your limerick down, Broncos fans!