The Stats don't mean what they say on Thanksgiving, Mom. You know that. That's what the day's supposed to be all about, right? Torture.--Holly Hunter
Thanksgiving and football. It didn't get much better in Week 12. Like you and your family, some teams greedily feasted on the mashed potatoes (Dallas on Oakland), some teams kicked up their feet and loosened their belts (Green Bay feeling fat and bloated as they coasted over Detroit), and some teams simply went straight for the pumpkin pie (New Orleans tasting a sweet victory over New England).
Your Denver Broncos stuffed the New York Giants like turkeys.
Divisional opponents inspire hate. And mockery. So let round one of the Chiefs' Limericks begin!.
Here are five that I created. Please feel free to make up your own. And Chiefs' fans, please participate if you have the inclination (or you're not already mocking your top-5-draft-pick).
At the end of the season, I'll do a post with the top 10 limericks from all the division opponents to vote on, so please rec the limericks that you like the most.
These five should help you get the hang of it (if you have an extra syllable or two here or there, who cares):
"A man's own observation, what he finds good of and what he finds hurt of, is the best physic to preserve health." - Sir Francis Bacon
It isn't news that football is a rough, hard-hitting sport. Our modern combination of the stratagems of chess and the violence of unarmed territorial warfare has a bare-knuckle history, in which simply being willing to use the forward pass was once considered a sign of weakness; in which playing hurt was and is a mark of excellence rather than a failing and which sometimes pits the health of the players against the financial and strategic considerations of the teams and the league itself. Football is still constantly finding and reinventing itself, just as it has over the past 100 years. One thing that has changed over those scores of years is the perspective of players and fans alike: We are discovering that while we will cheer on anything that brings victory a step closer, fans and the league increasingly also want the best for the health of the players. It's leading to a sea-change in the way that we observe and handle the issues of injury in the NFL.
Is Knowshon Moreno prone to fumbling?
This is a question I've been asked many times in the last several weeks. Given that the Broncos invested the 12th overall pick in this year's draft on Moreno, it's an important question. Moreno--barring injury--is going to be this franchise's primary running back for several years to come. You want this guy dropping jockstraps and jaws, not footballs.
So where does Moreno stack up? Does he fumble more than the league average? More than other rookies? More than other great Broncos running backs?
We can answer all of these questions with a handy little contraption called the Tiki Barber Slip 'N Slide Index.
"All stats and no play makes Jack a dull boy." --Jack Torrance
Week 11 in the NFL was a classic horror movie. There were some spine-chilling moments (Chiefs over the Steelers), terrifying screams (Ravens fans watching their red zone offense), and when the Raiders beat the Bengals, things got downright bloodcurdling.
For their part, the Denver Broncos treated their fans to a B-movie slasher flick, in which they played the victim. By the time the 4th quarter rolled around their rush defense had been so hacked to pieces, they simply tried to survive until the sequel.
Happy Tuesday, friends. It's a short week, with another game on Thursday night, so there's no time to mope or feel sorry for ourselves. In their scheduling wisdom, the NFL took away our right to do so - and I, for one, am glad. The Giants can be beaten, with sound play, but we'll get to that eventually. For now we'll put this week to bed and move on quickly. Ready.... BEGIN!!!!
Friday, ten days ago, an upstart proved that they are serious about taking down a champion. The Denver Nuggets invited the LA Lakers into the Can and requested that they bring their lunch. They promptly took their lunch, ate it in front of them and gave back the bag, filled with wrappings and trash. The final score was 105-79 and it wasn't even that close. It was the kind of statement that puts a conference on notice - we're here, we're serious, and the road to the Finals is going to run through the Rockies. Deal with it.
One statement you hear frequently from fans and from the media is that certain quarterbacks are victims of bad receivers who drop a lot of passes. The statement was made about Kyle Orton during the first three games of 2009. It's also a constant mantra of Chicago fans this year with Jay Cutler. The conventional thinking is that if only Jay's receivers could hold onto the ball, the Bears would be a playoff team.
But which quarterbacks in the NFL really are the victim? And which QBs are just playing one on TV?
For the answer to this question, I'd like to introduce you to a fun little stat called the Heyward-Bey Assault Index.
Sometimes the hot girl at the bar is only hot because she's wearing a lot of makeup and the lights are dimmed low. And while she looks great now, you find out later it was all show, and perhaps you just had a little too much to drink.
Her friend, on the other hand, is only slightly above-average. She falls into the "good personality" category. But you know she's the kind of girl you could bring home to momma.
Which one should you choose?
Things change. In the case of the Broncos, the changes have come fast and have shaken people up. From the moment that Pat Bowlen announced that he'd fired Mike Shanahan, most of our preconceptions about this team have been thrown into the fire. What remains is different from anything we expected about this offseason.
Topping the list has been the situation that resulted in the Cutler trade. Chris Simms was brought in as a highly-paid backup and will now compete for a starting job. Kyle Orton was a rumor and a name that crossed some website - now he's a household name in Denver, and fans debate his background and skill-set with fervor. And there is still the specter of Jay Cutler and what he was able, and not able, to accomplish last season.