For months I had been working on a new men's cologne called Elway.
The name was just local color.
My true intention was combining the pungent smell of the Broncos' locker room with the grassy aroma of the Mile High turf
Originally, the name of the cologne was going to be Johnson 9-5 on account of the fact that it took about an hour for you to work up enough sweat so that your female coworkers could get a whiff of your "natural" pheromones.
The name Elway just sounds better. I don't anticipate it will help sales in the least. My lawyer told me to say that, but in my heart, I believe it.
The strong scent was guaranteed; the results with your female coworkers were not.
Now that I've received a letter from some NFL quarterback telling me to cease and desist with this cologne, I'm guess I'll just write some limericks wrapping up this week's most interesting news.
Good Morning, Broncos fans! In his Sunday column, Dan Pompei shares a quote from John Elway about the Broncos' decision to draft Von Miller over Marcell Dareus:
Dareus is a very solid, tough defensive tackle who will have a long career in this league. But the difference is Von’s ability to be a game changer. That’s what swung us to Von. Obviously we needed help inside, but we were looking for a game changer.
I'm not a huge NBA fan, but this story about Scottie Pippen drew my attention yesterday.
It seems Pippen made a comment that LeBron James might eventually be the greatest player in NBA history--greater even than Michael Jordan.
That's not the interesting part of the story. If Pippen believes LeBron is that good, he's certainly entitled to it. What's more interesting is what he tweeted to fans who disagreed with his assessment:
For all of you that don't know I played the game you keep watching and cheering.
Here we go again--another former athlete who thinks that just because they played the game, their ability to evaluate talent is far superior to the ability of anyone else. Further, they think everyone else should just shut up.
Pippen could have easily been a former NFL player saying the same thing. Ryan Leaf famously remarked that only players could really understand.
The antichrist to this view is, of course, Matt Millen. A Pro Bowler and NFL champion four times over, Millen was, at best, a below average talent evaluator. One NFL executive even remarked that Millen had made more draft mistakes than anyone else had in two centuries.
Good Morning, Broncos fans! Woody Paige spoke at length with John Elway, who talked of having a three-year plan to bring the Broncos back to winning division titles and more. Regarding the DT position, Elway says "everybody knows" the team needs to get one, but the Broncos' rebuilding status forced them to accumulate and keep picks rather than move up for Nick Fairley. And although we were all focused on Denver potentially nabbing Marvin Austin or Stephen Paea in the second round, the FO was apparently more interested in Clemson's Jarvis Jenkins, who went to Washington a few picks before the Broncos settled on Rahim Moore and Orlando Franklin.
Paige writes that Elway is in talks with a pair of ex-Broncos about bringing them back into the organization, perhaps from among Randy Gradishar, Louis Wright, Terrell Davis, Rod Smith and Dave Studdard. Elway reiterated that the offense as run by Mike McCoy will remain largely the same, with wholesale changes on defense. Surely the McHaters are going to be complaining about that former concept over the next several months, but if Tim Tebow is to have anything in the way of success in 2011 - stunted offseason or not - it's clearly best he not be forced to learn a new offensive system.
We haven't done one of these in quite a while - over two months, in fact. Since the focus at this point is on if/when the games will be played, (still, it's only May) then how about we think of the guys who spent the most time actually playing for the Broncos? Turns out there are
58 63 players who have played in 100 or more games for Denver, while there are several notable ones who fell just short, including Lyle Alzado, Otis Armstrong, Romo and Lionel Taylor. As always, feel free to discuss your scores and the answers in the comments. Guesses do not need to be made in order, and last names will suffice. Anyone who whiffs on the top #2 answer will have their Broncos fanship revoked...
Click here for Sporcle quiz:
Can you name the Players who have appeared in 100+ games for the Broncos?
Update 12:53PM ET: Sorry everyone, as Cody and Chuck pointed out, I whiffed on the kickers and punters - so there are actually 63 players, not 58. The game has been updated.
Happy Friday, Broncos fans! Well, this has got to be one of the uncoolest John Elway-related articles I've ever read: There's a punk band in Fort Collins that changed their name last November to "Elway" and now the Broncos legend wants them to change it again. Elway's lawyers sent an email to the band requesting that they do so, although apparently the letter fell short of threatening suit or legal action. Of course, the band released a statement saying they have no intention of discarding the Elway name, and let's hope they stand strong on this.
Granted, the band is now probably getting more attention than they ever did when they were called 10-4 Eleanor, so perhaps this was all part of the plan, but still! I'm sure there are plenty of Coloradans who named their kids after The Greatest Ever in some way, and is it really a surprise that a bunch of them decided to name a band after the guy? Heck, they're probably not even the first to do so. Lighten up, John - nobody in their right mind is going to think you are associated with this band...
Fat Man writer TJ “The Dude” Johnson posts The Dude’s Mail Revue on Thursdays, in which he takes your questions and gets your opinion about the state of the Denver Broncos.
You wanna tie the room together? Or say what you'd like about the tenets of national socialism?
Drop TJ a question: email@example.com.
(NOTE: Marmots were harmed in the writing of this Revue)
TJ, since the Broncos are hell bent on dropping Ryan Harris and going with rookie Orlando Franklin at right tackle, why not flip our tackles so our best lineman, Ryan Clady, is protecting Tebow’s blind side?
--Antonio Boselli, Jacksonville, Florida
Good Morning, Broncos fans! Jason La Canfora writes that the Broncos don't necessarily intend to trade Kyle Orton at this point, and that some within the organization expect Orton to be the starting QB this season. As the NFLN reporter puts it, Orton can be had for a "high second-round pick" that could turn into a first-rounder based upon production. It's sort of a strange thing to say, as who can ever really predict which teams will be picking higher than others? Then again, how many QB-needy teams are expected to be any good? Frankly, the whole column is a bit puzzling and meandering, but I suppose the gist is that Denver is continuing to put word out that Orton's price is a second-rounder. Conditional first-rounder? Good luck with that...
NFL Coaches Association has filed an amicus brief supporting players written and filed by a Duke law professor, Barak D. Richman. The coaches seem to be strongly supporting the players, and claim that the NFL is ‘avoiding’ the Sherman Act.
The coaches - both head and assistant - go on to say that "New coaches especially need time with players, which is why league rules normally permit new coaching staffs to organize two additional minicamps with players over the summer." It goes on to point out that, "This offseason, NFL teams hired an unusually large number of new head coaches with no previous head coaching experience, each of whom-along with their assistants-face a steep learning curve & desperately need this time to prepare their teams." The coaches then cite irreparable harm, and say that: "Damages would not be an adequate remedy for NFL coaches who suffer from the NFL’s illegal group boycott." The coaches' brief also includes charts that show the uptick in coaches fired after two years, and after three years from 2001 to '10.
While this is hardly a major game-changer in the situation, it does show that the head coaches are willing to challenge the statements of the owners in court. Increasingly, fans are turning against both sides, wondering why they can’t split up $9 billion. The coaches are showing a desire for reason and to be given a chance to be permitted to do their jobs, and I fully support that position, and hope that it brings some small level of order to this increasingly pointless circumstance.
Let's open today's Tweets with a few Rapture-related thoughts from the Broncos. As always, we're just looking for a few lighthearted laughs here, and everything is a direct quote, innocent misspellings and grammar goofs inclusive:
Brandon Minor - So ummmmm, which 6pm does the world pose 2 end cuz ima switch time zones on that azz and hit the club
Quinton Carter - The world possed to end at 6?! Where have I been...F it! I know what I'm bout to do!
Rod Smith - So the world supposed to end in 15 minutes? Whats one thing you gonna try and get in before its over?
Minor again - I wonder how many ppl thought they was gonna die havin sex at 6pm this past Saturday
Eric Olsen - Well partying like the world was ending seemed like a great idea... Didn't plan on paying for it today though #falsealarm...I bet that dude Harold Camping is pretty pissed huh?