Faux Kyle Orton Says Goodbye To Denver Broncos In Spoof Sketch
Faux Kyle Orton Says Goodbye To Denver Broncos In Spoof Sketch
Besides being a dead ringer for Kyle Orton, this cat is funny. He manages to work in the neckbeard, the billboards, and several hilarious Tebow references.
Best line: "If I knew that all I'd have to do as a quarterback was hand off the ball, then...I would've...just...handed off the ball."
Colts fire defensive coordinator Larry Coyer
In a statement released by the team, Colts head coach Jim Caldwell said, “The move was made to improve communication and production.”
Just as the 2011 Broncos as led by Dennis Allen are starting remind folks of the early-season 2006 Broncos, the architect of that cometlike defense (26 points allowed over a five-week stretch) has become the first scapegoat for the Colts' winless season. Never mind that Jim Irsay handed Peyton Manning over $26M without knowing if the guy would play this year, and Bill Polian failed to provide the team with a better backup than the legendary Curtis Painter. Yeah, it's all Coyer's doing...
Vic Lombardi, Gary Miller lose radio sports talk show on The Ticket
The decision is tied to the move of ESPN radio programming from 1600 AM to 102.3 FM, effective Jan. 1, according to Tom Manoogian, head of Front Range Sports Network. Under The Ticket’s new schedule, ESPN’s “Mike & Mike in the Morning” will air from 5-9 a.m., followed by “The Herd with Colin Cowherd” (9 a.m.-noon)...The decision to drop Lombardi and Miller represents a change of direction by Front Range. Earlier, Manoogian announced Front Range would continue to program The Ticket with local talent and broadcast ESPN programming on a second station — possibly 105.5 FM (Jack) or an outlet Front Range would purchase.
Just in case you wanted yet another Denver metro radio station to carry the Worldwide Leader's toxic waste in the mornings, you've got it. I'm sure "Mike and Mike" will now make local coverage of the Broncos a top priority.
In other news, "The Man" is now searching to round up Vic Lombardi and Gary Miller, tie them up, and force them to listen to Chris Berman's lame-ass catch phrases.
Pakistani-born entrepreneur and auto-parts mogul Shahid Khan will buy the franchise, according to a source with knowledge of the situation…The news of the team’s sale comes on the heels of coach Jack Del Rio’s firing after eight-plus seasons with the team…In other Jaguars news, general manager Gene Smith has received a three-year contract extension, according to a league source.
Makes total sense, right? BTW, Smith had apparently turned down a contract extension over the offseason.
Tracking Tebow, Week 12: Iron sharpens iron
More improbable scenarios are hard to fathom but the lesson, at least for now, is Tebow has redefined what it means to win ugly, which is certainly preferable to the alternative reality playing out with Orton under center: losing ugly…Can Denver win out and go 11-5? Seems impossible, but is that any more unlikely than Tebow being 5-1? Clearly, we’re dealing with forces beyond the football field.
Captain Comeback Week 12: One large week to digest
Another fourth quarter comeback. Another game-winning drive. Another 10-point comeback for the game. Another unorthodox offensive performance. Another Tebow miracle. Actually, the story on Tebow is just wrong. It’s not about winning, it’s not about his religion or Tebowing. The story should be how if you cover up his flaws and keep the game close, the guy is uncanny at putting the ugliness behind him and delivering scoring drives to win the game.
Granted, Schroeder did benefit from being plugged into an semi-dynastic team, and he did finish his career with a 61-38 record as a starter, for what that's worth. If Tebow can be 61-38 over 99 games, I think we'd all be quite happy - really, I just thought it would be a funny title...
The NFL's Week 12 Unsung Heroes
Punter Britton Colquitt pinned the Chargers inside their own 10 yard line in three of his nine punts Sunday, while allowing virtually zero return yards all day. In fact, San Diego’s Patrick Crayton totaled just 15 yards on three returns in nine opportunities…If not for a big day by Colquitt and Prater, Tebow-Mania is probably running a little less wild today.
Sources: Jags fire Jack Del Rio
Jack Del Rio has been fired as the head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars, according to team sources. The Jaguars, who are 3-8 heading into a Monday night game with the San Diego Chargers, plan to announce the move at noon Tuesday.
Not that the Chargers are expected to axe Norv this week, but how do you suppose the Worldwide Leader would spend the 18-hour pregame show next Monday with two interim coaches making their debuts? Don't you want to find out?
Good Morning, Broncos fans! In his latest mailbag, Mike Klis goes all Woody Paige in responding to a reasonable and intelligent question about the Broncos' struggles to score points and extend drives beyond three plays with Tebow at the helm. He does so by cherry-picking some numbers which make the Tebow-led offense appear more productive than it's been; according to Klis' calculations, the Broncos have scored 21.2 points in their five wins under Tebow, as if points per win ever mattered. For one, this removes the 10-point effort against the Lions, which when included brings the figure down to 19.3 points. Secondly, two of the touchdowns scored during this time were provided by Eddie Royal's punt return in Oakland and Andre' Goodman's INT return against the Jets. Without those, the offense is down to 17 points per game, and then there's the issue of two games having gone to overtime, without which the Denver offense is scoring 16 points per game since Tebow took over.
Do all those other scores count? Of course! Should the Broncos give them back because Tebow wasn't responsible for them? Nope. But really, let's not say the offense is scoring 21+ points a game, okay? I can just see the water cooler conversations now. Fan A: The wins are nice, but we need to score more points to beat the good teams. Fan B: You're an idiot! They're scoring 21.2 points with Tebow! Mike Klis said so, must be true ZOMG!!
Waiting for Tebow to Go Splat
So far, Tebow has shown a remarkable ability to absorb punishment. In Sunday’s win over the San Diego Chargers, there were 20 hits on Tebow during the game—and a few of them were the sorts of brutal shots that an average running back would attempt to avoid.
The worst one came at the end of the first quarter. On a second-and-9 on the San Diego 39, Tebow took a snap out of shotgun, faked a pitch right to running back Willis McGahee, then cut to the left and ran toward the line of scrimmage.
Chargers outside linebacker Travis LaBoy grabbed Tebow’s facemask and yanked his face down, preventing him from seeing in front of him. Defensive end Corey Liuget grabbed Tebow’s shoulder pads and started pulling him down, but not before Vaughn Martin, a 300-pound defensive lineman, came barreling at Tebow with a full head of steam and used the crown of his helmet to pound Tebow like a veal cutlet.
This is the kind of physical punishment that would make most people quit football entirely. But Tebow popped right up, seemingly unscathed. He was really upset that the officials didn’t call the facemask penalty (he had a point—it was blatant).
I'll admit I didn't think Tebow could take the punishment he's been taking as a runner. I thought he'd be injured by the fourth game taking shots like he did against the Chargers.
This article tells you what I was oblivious to when I made that assertion--the guy just keeps getting up.