We never pass up an opportunity to take shots at the Raiders and their fans. So it gave us great pleasure today to read this GQ piece from Lauren Bans, in which she spends some time in Oakland with two Raiders fans known as Metal Cindy and Dre of the Dead:
In all of Raider nation, there are about fifty or so "superfans," and Metal Cindy and Dre of the Dead are two of them. Along with other "characters"—including Gorilla Rilla, a dude who shows up every game day in a full ape suit, plus a jersey and sunglasses over the ape suit, and who, according to Metal Cindy, got married in that getup—Cindy and Dre never miss a Sunday. They're like walking and waving Disney World mascots for the drunk-at-10-A.M. set
Denver -- And you thought John Elway and Peyton Manning won a lot of games?
Broncos Vice President of Corporate Communications, Jim Saccomano, won his 333rd game for the Denver Broncos on Sunday, putting his win total 147 games above that of previous record holder, Brett Favre. League officials are currently discussing the validity of Saccomano's record, given that he has not coached or played in a single game since his time with the Broncos began in 1978.
A source inside the league office, who chose to remain anonymous for this story, said of Saccomano's claim, "We've never seen a PR guy claim wins before, so it's new territory. Either he's got some big brass balls or that much hubris. We're looking into the issue."
The day following the conclusion of the NFL season has come to be known as Black Monday, as that's when axes traditionally fall on coaches and GMs who have failed to live up to expectations.
Most of the moves have been long been expected, while others may come as surprises. Job interviews likely began informally or clandestinely days or weeks ago, but this week they will start in earnest, and even quite publicly if other teams follow the model set by Denver two years ago.
Updated 8:34pm ET
GOOD MORNING, Broncos fans! For the sixth time in their history ('77, '87, '89, '96, '98), YOUR Denver Broncos have attained the AFC's top seed, and for the tenth time ('78, '84, '86, '87, '89, '91, '96, '98, '05), they will have a week off* before entering the playoff fray.
They achieved this lofty status with a good deal of help from Peyton Manning's old team, and by summarily dispatching with this year's NFL doormats in a 38-3 (Gamebook, ANS box score) shellacking of the Chiefs (2-14).
After stumbling to the NFL's eighth worst points differential (-81) in 2011, these Broncos have pummeled their opponents to the tune of a plus-192 margin, which is the fourth largest turnaround in NFL history.
Dan Fouts finally said something I agree with.
The Broncos' ass kicking has become a broken record to the AFC.
Let the music play--three more times. Whoever comes to Denver won't be getting away.
Not this time; not with this defense; not as the number-one seed.
Did we mention we've got Peyton Manning, too?
Andrew Luck threw two touchdown passes, the Colts defense picked off Matt Schaub twice, and Indy (11-5) took down the visiting Texans (12-4) by a 28-16 margin, providing the Broncos with a chance to claim homefield advantage throughout the AFC playoffs with a win or tie today against the Chiefs.
As recently as four weeks ago, Houston, at 11-1, had what was essentially a 2.5-game lead on the 9-3 Broncos in the AFC standings, given their Week 3 win in Denver. But they've lost three of four down the stretch - at New England in Week 14, in Houston last week against the Vikings, and today at Indy.
Inactive for Denver are Caleb Hanie, Trindon Holliday, Tracy Porter, Chris Gronkowski, Julius Thomas, C.J. Davis, and Sealver Siliga. Chris Kuper will dress, but Manny Ramirez gets the start at right guard and should play the bulk of the plays.
Kansas City's inactives are T Branden Albert, DE Tyson Jackson, WR Josh Bellamy, QB Ricky Stanzi, S Abram Elam, RB Nate Eachus, and OL Rich Ranglin.
A lot of things happen when you get on a winning streak. One of those things is that you forget your responsibilities--namely, a game-day limerick.
So here goes (in pure-form anapests):
It's the last of the games of the year
for the AFC West to revere
the appeal of the pass
and a hoof up their ass:
it is Manning and Denver to fear.
Thanks to my boy Alaskan for reminding me of my responsibilities. Feel free to give it your own shot (anapestic or not) below. Just remember, crude and lewd is quite shrewd, dude.
Good Morning, Broncos fans! Hard to believe it, but the end of the regular season is already here today.
We've all understandably had our eyes to the future - on playoff seeds and scenarios, and dreams of a Broncos trip to New Orleans. And incredibly, after years of mediocrity or worse, last week brought a 34-12 home blowout that was, for all intents and purposes, boring.
It's amazing how drastically things have changed in the nine months since Peyton Manning showed up, and the two-and-a-half months since the team trailed 24-0 at halftime in San Diego. We're already taking blowouts for granted, after having endured, almost exactly a year ago, an excruciating 7-3 home loss to Kansas City in a win-and-they're-in scenario.
364 days later, the Broncos again will host the Chiefs to close out the regular season, and once again, the game has significant playoff implications.
Former Chief Neil Smith sues NFL over brain injuries
Smith, 46, contended in his suit that because of repeated and misdiagnosed concussions he suffers from “permanent and debilitating injuries,” including loss of memory, “cognitive impairment” and early-onset dementia.
“Indeed, Mr. Smith suffered three concussions — all of which were improperly diagnosed and treated — in one game during the 1988 season,” the suit alleged. “Despite exhibiting concussion symptoms, Mr. Smith was regularly returned to play, significantly increasing his chances of longterm brain damage.”
According to nflconcussionlitigation.com, more than one-third of all living, former NFL players are now suing the league over its handling of head injuries.