File under: Things you probably didn’t want to know about Denver’s new fullback

Rob Gronkowski Crossed Swords With His Brothers, And Two Other Fantastic Gronk Stories From The ESPYs
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“Gronkowski is in line for the bathroom. There’s a line, two urinals and a stall. They’re all waiting. Gronkowski is with his two brothers, who just looked awesome. He goes into the stall and he turns around to one of his brothers and says, ‘Crossys?’ The second brother goes in, the third brother goes in, and then there’s some guy who’s waiting — some small guy — and they say, ‘Let’s get him too.’ They grab this guy and pull him in, and they all pee in the bathroom together, in the stall.”

Yikes, the poor fourth man in on that Schwartz-crossing episode is likely scarred for life. And unless he was several beverages into his evening, one would have to think he had a bit of that Public Restroom Performance Anxiety that strikes all of us at some point in our lives.

For those who missed it, Gronk's older brother Chris is Denver's new fullback.

Broncos should sign Clady, but there’s no rush Lard

Good Morning, Broncos fans! Mike Klis reports that contract negotiations between the Broncos and the representatives for LT Ryan Clady are rather far apart. Klis says a deal is unlikely to be done by the beginning of training camp next week, but there is no significance to such a timeline.

Clady is under contract for 2012 at a $3.5M salary ($4.918M cap number), and the team can certainly use its franchise tag on him following the season ($9.3M this year, likely a shade higher next year), and they could do so again the year after that, if necessary. Time is on Denver's side, and as we view it, they essentially have a year to lock Ryan up with a long-term contract.

Presumably both sides would like to get something done sooner than that, but there's really nothing freakout-worthy here. If Clady wants to make more than $3.5M this season (yes, he deserves it, even if he's not been playing as well as he did his first two years), then he'll probably have to agree to a deal within the next month and a half. But midseason extensions happen too, so there's always that.

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A New View

Welcome, to a redone It's All Over, Fat Man! We've tweaked the design, added more hamsters to the wheels that power this thing, have some new features and — gasp — put up advertising.

The first thing you'll notice is a design tweak, or a complete redesign, depending on where you're reading this. For those viewing on desktop/laptop browsers we focused on readability. If you're on a mobile device you'll notice a much bigger change. This site will now conform to any modern mobile device (think iOS, Android, Windows Mobile 7+). Again, readability was the focus and you should be able to comfortably view this site from iPhone to Nexus 7 to PC.

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Dumervil: The truth will come out

According to the 911 call from the incident that led to the arrest of Broncos DE Elvis Dumervil on Saturday evening in Miami, the dispute involved an occupant of a white Impala and someone in a silver Mercedes. The caller, presumably the Victoria's Secret employee referred to in earlier reports, describes the Impala occupant as pointing a gun at someone, but she says she doesn't know at whom the gun is aimed.

Police would later order Dumervil out from behind the wheel of a silver Land Rover, where they would find a handgun in the glovebox. They then arrested Dumervil for allegedly having displayed a gun in his waistband to the driver of the Impala.

Mike Klis reports that Elvis was wearing gym pants at the time of the incident, and the explanation now being advanced by Dumervil's people is that the elastic waistband of his pants would not have been sufficient to support the weight of the semiautomatic handgun found in the Land Rover Elvis was driving.

Updated 9:07pm ET

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The Bartlett Defense: Part 5 - Coverage concepts

Happy Tuesday, friends.  Today, we get to the interesting and original part of this series about the Bartlett Defense, as we discuss coverage concepts.  At its core, this defensive idea is about reducing the efficiency with which offenses throw the football.  A lot of evidence indicates that championship teams throw well and stop the pass well, so I conceived this scheme with that priority in mind.

Before we get started, let’s put out the links to prior parts of this series, in case you’re just joining us, or you want to refresh your memory:

Part 1 – Personnel and Alignment

Part 2 – Principles for 100% Soundness

Part 2.5 – Responding to an Excellent Comment

Part 3 – Reads and thought processes

Part 4 – Running game principles

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Rice, Forte get their scratch; others told to go scratch Lard

Good Morning, Broncos fans! The deadline for teams to sign their franchise players to long-term deals was yesterday afternoon, and a few contracts got done just under the gun.

Baltimore did what they absolutely had to do, by signing running back Ray Rice to a five-year deal which includes $24M in guarantees and a total value of $35M. Incentives can potentially lift that number to $40M. Likewise, the Bears finally rewarded their runner/receiver, giving Matt Forte more than $17M in guarantees as part of a four-year, $32M deal.

But what about value? The numbers say Baltimore paid about market value for Rice, while Forte got more than he is worth. And now that these guys are under contract, what about trading them for a bounty of draft choices? Obviously that would never happen, but as always, great food for thought from Burke.

Jacksonville also locked up their tagged player, as kicker Josh Scobee agreed to a four-year deal with $4.75M in guarantees and a total value around $14M. Those figures are both higher than those given Matt Prater by the Broncos ($4.25M, $13M).

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Doom’s side of story: Elvis wasn’t packing

Normally, the truth is somewhat equidistant to the different sides of a story. And it remains to be seen whether the Miami Beach police report or Elvis Dumervil's version of events is closer to what actually happened in Miami this weekend. But if the account being disseminated by Elvis's people is to be believed, then Broncos Country can breathe a mighty sigh of relief.

According to Mike Klis, two sources close to Dumervil (his agent and attorney?) say Elvis was not armed during Saturday evening's traffic altercation, and that the gun found in the glovebox of the Land Rover he was driving did not belong to him.

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Police report: Dumervil brandished gun during traffic dispute

The Miami Beach police report (copy of report can be viewed there) regarding Elvis Dumervil's arrest has been made available, and Mike Klis has details.  As Vic Lombardi had tweeted earlier, this was not over a parking spot. But the incident does, at a glance, appear to be a case of drivers escalating an everyday traffic dispute.

According to the account of both the alleged victim and the witness who first called the police, Dumervil was following a (friend's?) car in his own Land Rover and was cut off by an Impala driven by the alleged victim.

The witness's account says that horn blowing and verbal threats followed, and the driver of the Impala allegedly threw an object which hit Elvis's Land Rover. Next, Dumervil and his passenger allegedly approached the Impala and lifted their shirts, displaying guns.

Updated 1:14pm ET

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Doom, where’s your valet? Lard

Good Morning, Broncos fans! According to KDVR, the incident which resulted in star defensive end Elvis Dumervil's Saturday arrest in Miami was a heated argument.

Over a freaking parking spot.

Here's what KDVR is reporting:

A police report detailing the incident and Dumervil’s arrest won’t be available until Monday, but initial reports suggest an argument about a parking spot between Dumervil and another individual escalated to the point that Dumervil may face a felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Obviously, we can only hope no charges will ultimately be filed, as Dumervil's agent suggests. But even if that's the outcome, there's always a chance the Ginger Hammer views this as a second transgression by Elvis and suspends him for a game or so. And the likelihood of Appeals Court Judge Goodell potentially overturning a potential ruling by Judge Goodell is rather slim, if we get to that point.

Update 9:20am ET: Vic Lombardi tweeted the following early this morning:

Some clarity in the Dumervil case. The dispute wasn't over parking spot. The car carrying Elvis cut off by another car. Other driver female. Also male passenger in other car involved in the ruckus. No charges were filed. Elvis attorney expects full exoneration. Plenty more details when the police report is released tomorrow. If it's released.

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Gut Reaction: Dumervil arrested in Miami

I'm not an attorney¹, and we obviously don't know the circumstances here, but this case appears to have the potential to be very tricky for the Miami police and State's Attorney's office.  Typically, when some black guy is involved in an altercation, the cops will throw him in jail, and the prosecutor will overcharge the case.

What I mean by that is for someone like me - as a middle-class white guy who can afford a competent attorney - the charge might be disorderly conduct from the start, I pay a little fine and take anger management, and the misdemeanor falls off my record.

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